Cross-country: Reblogged (Davis to Reno)

We're moving back to CA in 2 1/2 weeks. Yay!!! So in preparation for that event, I'm reposting the journey from CA to CT that took place 3+ years ago. Here's hoping that this trip goes a little more smoothly. We certainly learned a few tricks in the process!

May 26, 2010:



Today did not entirely go as planned... but we made it to Reno!

The majority of our plans played out perfectly. The movers arrived early and loaded quickly... Noah swept out the house and played with the dog while I slipped drugs to the cats for our first day of driving.

While waiting for the tranquilizers to take effect, I noticed a traffic alert for the eastbound 80 (which we're taking pretty much the entire way across the country). It was closed before Truckee... a diesel truck turned over and was leaking all over the freeway. Bummer... Plus, it was snowing!!

We loaded up the car and headed out,





deciding to go across on 50 to Lake Tahoe and then cut up to Truckee and over to Reno...









Bangs took his tranquilizers quietly and slept most of the 4 hours it took us to get to Reno (we had some construction traffic, too). NNK (no name kitty) protested loudly every 20 minutes or so... but I think she was better for the tranquilizers than she was without. No one threw up on anyone. Jack and Gill quietly waited for us to let them out again and Tag... well Tag is the best ever.



The room here in Reno is gigantic and we love it.... We got in around 4:30 and room service just got here, so I'm going to go eat now :)

I'm tranquilizing the cats again tomorrow. I'm hopeful that it will make the traveling easier... our longest day of driving yet!

Hopefully pictures tomorrow, too!

IWSG: Taking the leap

Hey!!! It's the first Wednesday of the month and I'm actually prepared enough to offer up my piece of the Insecure Writer's Support Group today. Woohoo! Thanks to the amazing Alex Cavanaugh for launching this group that has been such a great... well... support to writers like me who need to be able to talk about our fears and know that someone out there hears us and that maybe they know what we're going through, too. You should really join us. You'll never regret it.

What I want to talk about today isn't necessarily something that's strictly related to writing... but it's something that I'm going through right now and I needed to share.

If you didn't know yet, my husband's job is being outsourced at the end of this month. That's a good thing, believe it or not. N has been struggling with stress and frustration over his career for years now, and most acutely in the past three years. It's time for a change, time for us both to leap out into the great unknown and let our dreams of what we've always wanted to do take flight.

We've known this change was coming for months now, so we've had time to strategize and prepare. That doesn't mean we're ready, though. As the moment of truth draws nearer, we lean forward and look over the edge of the Cliff of Doing What You Dream. That's a pretty steep drop! Our hearts flutter a little more anxiously with each passing day. Soon, we're going to be faced with the decision. Do we really jump and risk the possibility of failure (or wild success)? Or do we do the safe thing and go back to occupations that we hate, but that we know will meet our budget each month?

The best thing, and an important piece for those who wish to experiment with flying, is that we are moving back to California, to a place where we have a support network, people to encourage us along the way. Talking through your fears and frustrations makes them easier to overcome. It's one of the reasons I love the IWSG. Supporters help lessen the impact when you fail... and give you the courage you need to try again. Thanks!

I hope that we'll at least push ourselves over the edge and see what we're capable of. We have a safety net, if we need it... but we'll never know if we can fly if we don't take the leap.

A to Z Challenge: L is for Language

(I totally fell to pieces during April's A to Z Challenge... but I promised to follow through no matter how long it took to get to the end. So here's an installment, for your reading pleasure. Thanks for sticking with me!)

When drafting your piece, be it short fiction or long, it's important to remember that the words you choose carry weight and that consistency of voice will add depth to your characters just as much as the actions and thoughts and feelings that those words convey.

When I'm writing a first draft, basically I'm grabbing at whatever words will do to get my point across. They're like place holders. The first draft is a marathon and LANGUAGE doesn't matter as much as getting the ideas down on paper.

When I'm editing, word choice becomes much more significant. The language I choose to describe a scene will greatly enhance the experience of the reader. Words hold powerful influence over how we perceive a character or setting.

Consider the following three examples taken from the first pages of three incredible books. (By the by, I'm moving in a few weeks, so all my Harry Potter books are already packed. These three books were chosen from what has not been packed yet.)

------------------------------------
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.

I prop myself up on one elbow. There's enough light in the bedroom to see them. My little sister, Prim, curled up on her side, cocooned in my mother's body, their cheeks pressed together. In sleep, my mother looks younger, still worn but not so beaten-down. Prim's face is as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as the primrose for which she was named. My mother was very beautiful once, too. Or so they tell me.

Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner, as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. The late owner of this estate was a single man, who lived to a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life, had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. But her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in his hoe; for to supply her loss, he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwood, the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. In the society of his nephew and niece, and their children, the old Gentleman's days were comfortably spent. His attachment to them all increased. The constant attention of r. and Mrs. Henry Dashwood to his wishes, which proceeded not merely from interest, but from goodness of hear, gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive; and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence.

The Book of Flying - Keith Miller
I am dreaming. I'm dreaming of a city, a white city in the sun by the sea, a city of bells and birdcages, boatswains and ballyhoo, where heart-faced wenches lean bare-breasted from balconies to dry their hair among geraniums and the air is salt and soft and in the harbor sailors swagger from ships that bear cargos of spices. In this city a thousand doves live in the hundred towers of a hundred bells and in the mornings when the bell ringers toll a summons to the sun the doves scatter like blown ash across the tile roofs and light under eaves whispering lulling words to sleepers, bidding them stay in bed a little longer. And on the silver sky other wings rise.
-----------------------------------------

In each case above, the language employed by the author paints a distinct picture. The narrative voice and the setting are solidified through the words chosen to describe the action. Imagine the picture you would get if the opening passage of the Hunger Games was written in the style that Keith Miller uses for the Book of Flying. You might not feel Katniss's discontent or sense of urgency at all. Miller is painting us a picture of a beautiful land of enchantment. We couldn't imagine otherwise after reading those opening words.

Jane Austen's prose, far from being just a portrait of the times in which she lived, is calculated to give you an idyllic impression of the situation of the social class she is writing about, just before she smashes it all to pieces (ever so subtly and wittily, of course).

When they say a picture paints a thousand words... remember that a word, that LANGUAGE paints pictures as well. Choose your images with care.

Conquering intimidation

Confession: "Ulysses" (James Joyce) intimidates me. I've started it I don't know how many times.

So I decided to read 3 pages a day. Conquer a little bit at a time, you know?

I just made it to page 12, which is further than I've ever gotten before. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Thus far I'm utterly bewildered.

Image from Wikibooks Annotations to James Joyce

Insecure Writer's Support Group: Stage fright, anyone?

Thanks to the ninja awesomeness of
Alex J. Cavanaugh for hosting this group for people like me.

Hey! I haven't done this in a while... it's not that I haven't had insecurities, it's just that... blogging took on a different shape and color for me for a while. And I think it still has that new shape and color, but I have something to share today and it's the right day for IWSG, so I'm going to take advantage of the alignment!

I wrote a short story. It was part of the www.7daystory.com challenge. You write a story in 7 days, going through all the revision stages, until on day 7 you release it, submit it to appropriate places for possible publication.

It's just a cheesy little story though... at least that's what I keep saying to myself. Who would ever want to publish this cheesy little thing? I should just file it away and never show it to anyone besides my husband and Lori, both who thought it was sweet.

So that's my insecurity. I have this paralyzing inability to face "judgement" (I guess in the writing world we call it criticism). I'm afraid of rejection, of the possibility of failure... so much so that I just haven't even bothered to look for places that I might be able to submit a little story like mine. I'm not even looking for actual feedback from people who might be able to help me make my story's ending pop a little more (which is what I think the main problem with it is at present). Nope, instead I'm freezing up and filing it away and doing nothing.

Sigh.

You can sign up for Insecure Writer's Support Group and take advantage of the awesome support in this writerly/bloggerly community, too. Do it! You'll never regret it! And thanks in advance for the support!

A to Z Challenge: K is for Kinesics

(I totally fell to pieces during April's A to Z Challenge... but I promised to follow through no matter how long it took to get to the end. So here's an installment, for your reading pleasure. Thanks for sticking with me!)

When you're writing, every pen stroke/keystroke/pencil scribble should exist to support the characters and/or the plot. Every stroke has meaning, down to the painstakingly selected word so imbued with context and flavor that you could not possibly avoid using it to describe your MC's eye color.

Which is why you really have to be a student of kinesics for your active prose to come alive.

Oxforddictionaries.com defines kenesics as:

• "the study of the way in which certain body movements and gestures serve as a form of nonverbal communication."

As with any and all literary concepts, the key here is balance. The art of kenesics is to find a way to convey meaning with a movement. But you can't just show us your characters' movements. You also have to give us meaningful context for the movements. Here's an example from (who else?) J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:

   "I'm going to wash," Harry told Bill, looking down at his hands still covered in mud and Dobby's blood. "Then I'll need to see them, straightaway."
   He walked into the little kitchen, to the basin beneath a window overlooking the sea. Dawn was breaking over the horizon, shell pink and faintly gold, as he washed, again following the train of thought that had come to him in the dark garden...
   Dobby would never be able to tell them who had sent him to the cellar, but Harry knew what he had seen. A piercing blue eye had looked out of the mirror fragment, and then help had come. Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.
   Harry dried his hands, impervious to the beauty of the scene outside the window and the murmuring of the others in the sitting room. He looked out over the ocean and felt closer, this dawn, than ever before, closer to the heart of it all.
   And still his scar prickled and he knew that Voldemort was getting there too. Harry understood and yet did not understand. His instinct was telling him one thing, his brain quite another. The Dumbledore in Harry's head smiled, surveying Harry over the tips of his fingers, pressed together as if in prayer.

The actions in this scene are relatively few, but they are powerful in their simplicity. Harry washing his hands after just burying his loyal friend... this is a symbolic act of sorrow as well as resolve. By the time Harry clears the dirt away he has a better picture of what he needs to do next in his quest to defeat Voldemort. There is no need for excess here... no mention of turning on or turning off the faucet, or rubbing his hands together, or wiping his face. Those actions would convey a different emotion than Rowling wants for Harry here. The quiet, contemplative act leaves you with a sense of Harry's resolve.

Here's another moment from earlier in the book, between Ron and Harry:

   The sword clanged as Ron dropped it. He had sunk to his knees, his head in his arms. He was shaking, but not, Harry realized, from the cold. Harry crammed the broken locket into his pocket, knelt down beside Ron, and placed a hand cautiously on his shoulder. He took it as a good sign that Ron did not throw it off.
   "After you left," he said in a low voice, grateful for the fact that Ron's face was hidden, "she cried for a week. Probably longer, only she didn't want me to see. There were loads of nights when we never even spoke to each other. With you gone..."
   He could not finish; it was only now that Ron was here again that Harry fully realized how much his absence had cost them.
   "She's like my sister," he went on. "I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It's always been like that. I thought you knew."
   Ron did not respond, but turned his face away from Harry and wiped his nose noisily on his sleeve. Harry got to his feet again and walked to where Ron's enormous rucksack lay yards away, discarded as Ron had run toward the pool to save Harry from drowning. He hoisted it onto his own back and walked back to Ron, who clambered to his feet as Harry approached, eyes bloodshot but otherwise composed.

Kinesics is a practice closely related to beats in dialogue, in that they both contain character action. The point is to understand which actions will be the most effective in gathering up the emotional context of the scene and delivering it to your readers.

No Cicadas Here

It's weird to be disappointed about something like dodging the bullet of a cicada swarm outbreak, but Noah and I were really looking forward to the Brood II emergence this year.

Unfortunately, it never happened. In fact, we have yet to hear the whir of a cicada here at all. I think I remember that last year it was around this time in the summer before the cicadas made an appearance.

I'm from the South, so cicadas are a mark of summer, and to have to wait for them so late in an already short season  makes me feel like something is missing.

So instead we'll have to content ourselves with some images I captured over the past few months and haven't yet posted.

Oh, and tell me what you're reading now! I'm reading Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo (thanks Margo, luv, for the recommendation of Shadow and Bone).

Buddha head-stand at Storm King Art Center

Noah contemplating Andy Goldsworthy's wall

Not quite spring when I took this

Lichtenstein's Mermaid

A turtle laying eggs in our back yard

Blue heron fishing on our pond

A flash of inspiration

A Shire Segue... thank you internets

It's just too good not to share :) Flying Feathers!

A to Z Challenge: J is for Jargon

(I totally fell to pieces during April's A to Z Challenge... but I promised to follow through no matter how long it took to get to the end. So here's an installment, for your reading pleasure. Thanks for sticking with me!)

The Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (11th Edition) lists the first definition for jargon as confused, unintelligible language.

While this definition holds true of a lot of first drafts (and quite a few of this blog's posts, admittedly), the definition I want to focus on is "the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group."

What more special group is there than your novel's cast of characters? How often to you find yourself writing dialogue (or exposition) that makes complete sense to you, that falls well inside the normal speech patterns for your characters, only to hear from your beta-readers that they have no idea what your characters are talking about?

Especially when you're writing fantasy, unique terms and phrases to describe objects or states of being are necessary! But the problem is how to introduce those terms, that jargon, without throwing your reader into a tailspin of confusion as they try to decipher exactly what your characters are trying to say.

Once again, I turn to the talented J.K. Rowling to illustrate what I believe to be a top-notch example of how to work jargon into accepted language for the reader.

"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.
"He's not going," he said.
Hagrid grunted.
"I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.
"A what?" said Harry, interested.
"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."

If you do this too often, unfortunately, you're going to overwhelm your reader and cause them to fall out of sync with the story. But! For the important terms, it's worth experimenting with ways to sneak the explanation in.

One thing to note about the definition of the word muggle here and all it's nuances the importance of characterization in helping to paint the picture of the term. Rowling has spent chapters by this point characterizing the Dursleys and their relationship with Harry so that when Hagrid labels them muggles, the implications of such a word reach far beyond nonmagic. So much so that when you hear the word muggle, do you not immediately thing of Dursley?

Take some time and create a list of the jargon you employ to build your world. Which meanings are obvious to your readers? Which are creating unnecessary confusion? How can you craft your narrative in such a way that the meanings of the words stretch beyond the literal definitions?

Reading with intention

Not my house

Hey! It's been a while, I know. Well, here I am, back again. Did you miss me?

It's been a few months now since my reading schedule got a mind of its own. I'm a freelance editor, you see. What that means is that sometimes for months at a time people hurl manuscripts at me and my job is to read them and assess them or correct them or provide suggestions on their improvement... as fast as possible.

Now don't get me wrong. I love this job. It's the most inspiring and exhilarating thing I can think to do with my time and I get paid to do it!

But somewhere along the way a line has to be drawn in the sand. Somehow, amid all the not-yet-published-works-of-amazingness (or not-so-amazingness), I need to be filling my brain with something that reinforces what makes a book a work of amazingness... because otherwise the image of the ideal starts to liquefy.

And so I start flailing about for something to read that is either a classic or current market favorite. It's a good thing my house is stacked full of books. I'm  never far from something to read.

Susan Sontag says, "Reading, the love of reading, is what makes you dream of becoming a writer." For anyone who desires to improve in the craft of writing (or editing), a conscientiously built reading list is a must. I struggle at maintaining this kind of discipline in my own reading life, largely because I am an emotional reader. I think that explains why I keep re-reading Harry Potter. I am attached to those characters at a deeply emotional level, and so returning to them and the world that J.K. Rowling created is a comfort that I cannot resist.

Still, I recognize the need to branch out, and so while flailing for books, I'm also casting about for inspiration. One of my favorite places to turn for reading list fodder is Margo Berendsen. She never fails to have a recommendation that tantalizes. The most recent recommendation of hers that I read and loved was The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson.

I also snagged a copy of the Indie Book Awards list from BEA (Book Expo America) this year, and I'm eager to try out a few of those authors as well.

Currently I'm reading a biography of Zelda Fitzgerald by Nancy Milford (from my flailing about)... and next in my queue is The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (a Twitter inspired choice).

But what about you, dear reader? Where do you find your own inspiration? What books have left you bursting with emotion? I'd like to add them to my list!

Still breathing

I'm stopping by to say "Hi" and "I'm still alive." It's been a crazy month for me, and I have a lot to do moving forward. I am pondering retooling this blog... I am keeping my business going... I am moving to California at the end of the summer... and somewhere in the midst of all that I am creating... something. I hope you are all well. I'll leave you with a detail of my new painting. Love and lots of literature to you all!

My apologies

I kinda dropped the ball. I hope you all can forgive me. I got swamped by work (manuscripts, manuscripts everywhere) and I haven't been able to give A to Z the attention it deserves. I suppose that's why they say you should write your posts a month early and schedule them... But I've always been a pantster, and my best, most authentic work comes right in the moment. So....

I promise to continue the alphabet soon, and to go all the way to the finish line, but... it's gonna take me longer than a month.

I hope that you'll stick around.

While I'm MIA, tell me a little bit more about YOU! How's it going?

A to Z Challenge: I is for Inciting Incident

Yeah, that's right! TWO I's! There must be some sort of prize for that, right?

You hear the term Inciting Incident a lot in screenplay writing self-help articles. And it's true that the II is highly important to movies and T.V. You have to have something for people to stick around for after the commercial! (of course, not so much in this age of computers... but when I was a kid... yeah)

In writing it's just as important. Wiki Answers has a couple of great definitions for II:

* The conflict that begins the action of the story and causes the protagonist to act 

*Without this event, there would be no story. Also, it is better described as the State of Imperfection made explicit.

The II is what sparks the adventure! Where would Harry Potter be if he had never gotten his letter from Hogwarts? And I don't need to tell you, master storyteller J.K. Rowling didn't make that as simple as walking out to the mailbox, either. The amount of potential energy wrapped up in what it took to get that letter to Harry and for him to find out he was a wizard carried her through 7 novels and 8 movies! Oh to write a scene like that...

The important thing about the II is that it should come along fairly early in your story line. It doesn't necessarily have to be in the first chapter or in the second, although usually SOMETHING inciting should have happened by the end of the second chapter. In HPaTSS, in the second chapter we find the prelude to the II... the incident at the zoo reveals that there really is something highly unusual about Harry, setting us up for the II actual in chapter three.

If you have too much set-up, you risk losing your reader's attention. Pushing your II up to the second or third chapter helps to tighten your plot and get your reader invested in your characters development (or survival: see Hunger Games).

What other examples of IIs can you think of in your favorite books?

A to Z Challenge: H is for Hyperbole

Hi everyone... I just wanted to say SORRY for missing the letter today. I wanted to talk about Hyperbole (the art of exaggeration), but I was washed out to sea on a wave of manuscript editing. (See what I did there?)

I'll catch up with you all tomorrow.

Thanks for your understanding!

A to Z Challenge: G is for Genre

Knowing the genre you're writing is important when you're crafting your novel. Genre is more than "a term for any category of literature or other forms of art or entertainment..." Genre is your novel's home.

Once you can accurately identify the genre you're writing in, all sorts of doorways and opportunities open up... and others close. A women's fiction novel, for instance, is not likely to include flesh-eating space aliens or a guild of ninjas. But a sci-fi novel would definitely have flesh-eating space aliens... and maybe even that ninja guild, too, if they are from the planet Zarkon on the edge of Galaxy 5. Giving yourself parameters to work within helps you better deduce which of the zillion options for your story are the most compatible and which are the most likely to make sense to your readers.

A lot of writers get cagey when asked to define the genre of their novel. It's like they don't want to commit... or they think that they can reach a wider audience if they use more than one genre in their query letter or manuscript description.

This is a big no-no, though. Agents and publishers will put aside a novel that claims to cater to more than one audience because it seems to signal a lack of vision. A targeted audience and a well-defined genre are a must for query letters. If your book is as amazing as you know it is, it will shine in chosen genre and then from there other types of readers will likely pick it up.

There are SOOOOooo many genres and sub-genres to choose from, too. There's no need to feel limited by having to choose one and run with it. So as you're writing, consider your characters, consider how and where your story fits in the marketplace (HINT: this is important for self-publishers as well).

So what genre are you writing in today?

Here are a few suggestions! Can you think of more? Action and Adventure, Chick Lit, Children’s, Contemporary, Crime, Erotica, Family Saga, Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Gay and Lesbian, General Fiction, Graphic Novels, Historical Fiction, Horror, Humour, Literary Fiction, Military and Espionage, Mystery, Picture Books, Religious and Inspirational, Romance, Science Fiction, Thrillers and Suspense, Western, Women’s Fiction, Young Adult.

A to Z Challenge: F is for feedback

Ok, so here's a step away from the elements of a novel. This one is more focused on the editorial process.

Feedback.

I'm talking about taking your precious work that you've been slaving over for months (years for some of us) and sharing it with people whose opinions you trust and who can give you honest, constructive criticism for how to improve upon the clarity, structure and style of your work.

I  know, it's a scary prospect. I have yet to show anyone more than the smallest taste of my own manuscript because I already know what the feedback will be.

Unfortunately, the main problem I see with manuscripts in the slush pile is lack of feedback. A manuscript that has been read and vetted by trusted critique partners and/or professionally edited has a lot better chance rising above the rest of the slush. A lot of authors would save themselves a giant helping of humble pie if they would only take the time to get feedback on their work and then put that feedback to work in a revision (or 10).

What's your process like? Do you have trusted critique partners that you go to?

A to Z Challenge: E is for Entry Point

Entry point is where your story begins... When we crack the book open and read the first page, what is your character doing?

Do we begin at the beginning? "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole , filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort." In The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien begins by explaining Bilbo to the readers. It is our first encounter with a hobbit after all. Through the first chapter, as the action unfolds, Tolkien characterizes Bilbo so solidly that we end up with a vibrant picture and well-defined expectation of what Bilbo is like. And then he does something unexpected. The adventure is just about to begin... and what an adventure!

Are we in the middle of the action? "My husband’s mistress leveled the gun at me. Her perfect, blonde curls bounced as she took a firing stance in the doorway to the conference room. Our eyes met over the gun, and the alien clone holding me, hitched up my arm to use me as a shield. The clone adjusted the quiack knife against my neck to make sure I knew he meant it. My husband’s mistress, Trish, puffed her bangs out of the way and squeezed the trigger." This was the beginning of a novel written by my blogging friend, the amazing and talented Rena. I won't go into the reasons why she changed her entry point, but this, as one of her previous options, illustrates the idea of jumping RIGHT into the action. We learn a lot of details rather quickly about the characters and have immediate tension and excitement to draw us further into the story.

Does the narrative start in the past (to set the stage) and then jump to the present? The best example of this is still Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Chapter 1. Other examples frame this kind of entry point as a prologue. Example: Seraphina by Rachel Hartman, "I remember being born. In fact I remember a time before that..." Depending on the amount of back story you need to set up your reader's understanding of the current action, this can be a good idea... or it can be a bad idea. If the information in a prologue needs so very much to be part of the story, you might want to consider ... making it part of the story!

Entry points can and do change over the course of drafting and revising. Sometimes skipping the set-up and heading straight for the action is the best thing you can do to jump-start a lagging narrative. Other times the set-up, artfully done, is required to help attach your reader to the main character. How does the current entry point of your WIP set the stage for your novel?

A to Z Challenge: D is for Dialogue Tags (and do-overs)

A few months ago I wrote this post about dialogue tags. Because it corresponds with the theme so well (including the obligatory Harry Potter examples), and because so many of you are new to the blog anyhow, I thought I'd re-post for your reading pleasure.

The general feeling is that if dialogue in a scene needs the tags, it's poorly written; that writers should aim for conveying emotion through the characters' words instead of spoon-feeding it to the readers in the narration. It is the mark of an insecure writer that he feels the need to give you information that should have been conveyed in the dialogue, to make sure the reader understands that his characters are emoting or what the scene is supposed to reveal. Trust the reader to figure out what the dialogue "means". And after having a couple of critique partners review it, if they point out that a run of dialogue really is too obscure, then take the time to re-write. Beats are easy to add where they are needed. It's harder to extract them, I find.

In the book "Self-editing for Fiction Writers" by Renni Browne and David King, the authors suggest:

"It's best to replace only a few of your speaker attributions with beats. A beat after every line of dialogue is even more distracting than too many speaker attributions. What you want is a comfortable balance."

I tend to agree with that sentiment. Too many tags or beats in a run of dialogue can throw off the momentum of the scene so much that the readers forget what the characters are talking about by the end of the page!

I don't think that all beats and tags are bad. I do think a writer needs to choose her beats wisely and make the most of them. First she needs to understand the anatomy of the scene she is writing: What are the key emotions at play here? How fast is the exchange between characters supposed to feel? What else is going on in the scene? and Which actions are important to the development of the scene?

And now, because examples in real life are always fun, I'm going to borrow from J.K. Rowling to illustrate my point. What I love about Rowling is that she's not perfect. But her characters emotions are perfectly conveyed.

............................................
Excerpt from "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban":
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione screamed.
Lupin let go of Black and turned to her. She raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed. "You-- you--"
"Hermione--"
"--you and him!"
"Hermione, calm down--"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you--"
"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Lupin shouted. "I can explain--"
Harry could feel himself shaking, not with fear, but with a fresh wave of fury.
"I trusted you," he shouted at Lupin, his voice wavering out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!"
"You're wrong," said Lupin. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now--Let me explain..."
"NO!" Hermione screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too--he's a werewolf!"

Excerpt from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix":
"There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry," said Dumbledore's voice. "On the contrary... the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."
Harry felt the white-hot anger lick his insides, blazing in the terrible emptiness, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore for his calmness and his empty words.
"My greatest strength, is it?" said Harry, his voice shaking as he stared out at the Quidditch stadium, no longer seeing it. "You haven't got a clue... You don't know..."
"What don't I know?" asked Dumbledore calmly.
It was too much. Harry turned around, shaking with rage.
"I don't want to talk about how I feel, all right?"
"Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human--"
"THEN--I--DON'T--WANT--TO--BE--HUMAN!" Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, "Really!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE--"
He seized the table on which the silver instrument had stood and threw that too. It broke apart on the floor and the legs rolled in different directions.
"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
......................................................

These two scenes illustrate very different emotions. Characters in both scenes do a lot of yelling, but the timing of the dialogue is the key to the emotions in each scene. In the Prisoner of Azkaban scene, the urgency of the scene is conveyed by quick back-and-forth dialogue. If you remember the same scene in the movie, there are a lot of actions that the characters take (i.e. looking to and from one another; Hermione steps in front of Harry to shield him from Sirius and Lupin; Lupin reaches out to implore Hermione to listen). None of those actions are portrayed in the dialogue, because to add them, while giving you a physically more accurate description, would take away from the momentum of the scene. The readers can just as easily imagine the action as they read the dialogue.

In the second scene, from the Order of the Phoenix, the dialogue progresses much more slowly. The emotion  in this scene does not come from a rapid-fire exchange (although Harry does do a fair bit of shouting), but from Dumbledore's slow and calculated responses. The deep feelings of regret and care for Harry that Dumbledore expresses come to light through his patience in allowing Harry the space to explore his own emotions. The pace of the dialogue allows much more room for beats of character action (all taken by Harry, a detail that is also telling...). But more than that, each beat has a purpose, shows the emotion rather than telling it (more often than not).

As a writer, understanding what your characters are going through and how they would respond to one another in a scene can mean the difference between capturing the readers' hearts and getting lost in the details. The right beats in the right places give meaning to the words spoken and emotions felt by your characters, allowing the reader to peek through the windows in their souls.

A to Z Challenge: C is for Conflict

Every good story has conflict. The trick is how you utilize it. Conflict can help your character grow, can give her something to overcome, can peak the reader's interest in the plot. If your character always gets everything she wants without having to fight for it, that can make for a really short, or a really boring story.

Conflict adds intrigue, creating tension in the narrative. It comes in many shapes and forms, both internal and external.
(wo)man vs. (wo)man - Harry vs. Voldemort; Ulysses vs. Medusa; Hector vs. Achilles... in each of these instances the villain is (eventually) corporeal, someone that must be defeated to ensure the hero's survival. The odds are stacked against the hero and he will have to use all his wits to gain the skills necessary to overcome his foe.

(wo)man vs. nature - Katniss vs. the Hunger Games arena... technically this is woman vs. a machine taking the form of nature, but you get the point. Fire and rain, lack of water and food, tracker-jackers, mockingjays, and muttations, all these "natural" forces test Katniss's skills and ability to survive, and teach her about herself (and the reader about her).

(wo)man vs. self - Ista vs. herself (Paladin of Souls, by Lois McMaster Bujold... love her, btw)... In this lovely novel Ista has to learn to move past the trauma she has experienced and allow herself to be open to using her gifts for the good of other characters in the story. The external conflicts here are secondary to the internal conflict, and her character grows and changes in beautiful ways by "The End."

Knowing your character's back story can help you discern when conflict will come up (ex: Hermione's muggle-born status fuels her desire to excel; Sirius and Snape's past animosity causes clashes when they are forced to work on the same side; Snape's love for Lily Potter motivates him to agree to protect her son, but his hatred for James Potter makes him antagonize Harry at every opportunity). The best conflict has a reason, even if it never has a resolution. Snape never forgave Harry for being James' son and it's hard to tell if Harry ever forgave Snape for killing Dumbledore... but the poignancy of the emotions that the conflict between those two characters creates is one of the most memorable aspects of that series.

So what conflicts arise in the lives of your characters (major OR minor)?