"In My Mind"

Today's theme song... I keep playing it over and over again. Sigh... love. Lyrics below:

"In My Mind"
(feat. Brian Viglione)

In my mind
In a future five years from now
I'm one hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hung over
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I am not exactly the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
In the faraway here and now
I've become in control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Because I will be the picture of of discipline
Never fucking up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could be that person now
But that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
And I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't wanna be the person that I want to be

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground
I'll start pounding the lid
Saying I haven't finished yet
I still have a tattoo to get
That says I'm living in the moment
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could win this, win this fight
But maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I wanna live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually see
That I am exactly the person that I want to be

Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be

Homophones

Here is a useful list of words that editors and writers need to know. This list comes directly from The Copyeditor's Handbook, the textbook for the copyediting certificate program I'm enrolled in on-line. (It makes me self-conscious, so many rules! But hopefully it will make me a better writer and editor).

Commonly confused homophones. (def: homophones are words that  are pronounced identically or quite similarly but that are spelled differently. e.g. to, two, too; there, their; etc.)
accept - except
adverse - averse
affect - effect
allusive - elusive - illusive
ascent - assent
baited - bated
bazaar - bizarre
canvas - canvass
capital - capitol
censure - censor - sensor
complement - compliment
disc - disk
discreet - discrete
eminent - immanent - imminent
ensure - insure
gorilla - guerrilla
grisly - grizzly
hoard - horde
incidence - incidents
mantle - mantel
palate - palette - pallet
rack - wrack
review - revue
troop - troupe
undo - undue

The differences between the definitions of these words are often as subtle as the difference in spelling or sound. Sometimes, though, the meanings are wildly different, and getting them mixed up can cause a lot of confusion!

What other homophones do you know? Take a few minutes and look up and learn the definitions of each of these words... the more you know, the better you'll be at your craft!

Do what you love

I spent the day editing today. I can't even tell you how good that feels. It's someone else's manuscript, of course. But oh, the absolute joy to be working on something that I enjoy and for someone who values my input and advice.

Seriously, y'all. If you can find a way to make a living doing what you love, do it! Let me rephrase. Find a way to do what you love for a living. It's worth scraping by for this. I promise.

I'm off to help N figure out what he loves to do now.

Acadia last month

IWSG! To be or not to be...

Hi everyone! It's the first Wednesday in October. That means it's time for Insecure Writer's Support Group, hosted by ninja captain, Alex Cavanaugh. Anyone can join, so hop on over to the IWSG page and sign up!

This week I wanted to talk a bit more about self-doubt. It's at the root of the majority of insecurities we writers feel. At least, I think it is. :)

Recently, I've been shooting for boldness and calling myself a writer, an editor, an artist in public. (I know, egads!) And people believe me! Which... is what I want for them to do. Because it's true! But... it's been a little disconcerting... not hiding it anymore.

I always kept it to myself, this writing, editing, and art, because I never felt like those identities were true about myself even though I write, edit, and create art daily. I still have this self-talk that says "You're a hack and no one will ever believe you can do what you say you can do." But... I'm choosing not to believe that voice anymore.

It is thrilling, finally allowing myself to believe in me. I find that I'm a lot less blocked creatively. I'm taking more personal risks, enjoying myself more, having more productive days. Still... it leaves me feeling a little insecure these days... Ironic when confidence makes you insecure, eh? I take it a day at a time. I'm not sure what I'll do when I run up against failure again. Hopefully I will not crumple as quickly this time.

I think this IWSG has been a big contributor in raising my confidence in myself. So... thank you, everyone! I'm sure I'll be back here next month with a black cloud of doubt again.

Does anyone else have any trouble with identity this way?

Good Morning, October! When did YOU get here?

It's OCTOBER! That means Halloween is coming! And so is NaNo! *scrambles around for that one notebook with all her novel notes for this year....*

To be perfectly honest, I'm a "pantser" when it comes to NaNo (that's National Novel Writing Month, in case you didn't know. The whole month of November is a creative party! 50,000 words in 30 days! Check it out!). By "panster" I mean I just hop in with no plan, just a vague idea and the motivation to create something. It's actually how I approach MOST of life, come to think of it. Ha... well, there you go... that explains a lot.

Anyhow! This year, I'm going to be visiting my super awesome friends in CA (and staying with amazing awesome Leslie) during the first 14 days of NaNo! Eeek! There's no way I can pants it this year if I want to make the goal. I'm going to have to be a PLANNER! *shudders in fear and chagrin at the thought*

Luckily, I have an idea already! Woot! Having an idea is half the battle right there. What's better is that I've already started note taking... dare I say it... outlining (!!) even. My goal is to have the whole story mapped out by October 31, to not forget my laptop when I get on the plane on November 2, and to get up and write every morning at Leslie's, just like I would if I'm at home... only with more dedication to knocking out words quickly because I wanna hang out with her, too, and not spend all day staring at the computer screen. Write or Die should help with that.

It's ambitious and I'm not sure if it will work out at all, but that's the plan so far... here's hoping! I can't NOT do it this year, though. I like the idea too much :)

Anyone else out there taking the NaNo challenge this year? To be honest, I can use all the support I can get, but I give support equally! Lemme know and sign up, sign up, sign up! Then make me your NaNo buddy! My handle is (of course) fairbetty!

Ok, now here's some random art that I've done in the past couple of weeks... just for fun :)

A new raven :)

Dream Girl with stars in her eyes

Doctor Who fan art

What Are You Waiting For? Blogfest winners! Woot!

Hi everyone! A big thank you to those of you who participated in my first ever blogfest. That was fun! Your entries were so intriguing and diverse!

I thought it was interesting seeing everyone's different interpretations of the coin toss (what the coin looked like, what heads and tails represented, which side the coin landed on and what that meant for the character...). Great job, all of you!!!

Without further ado, I'd like to announce the winners! Congratulations to Angeline Trevena and Laura E Brown! Loved your entries. You were all amazing, though! It was so hard to pick just 2!

Ok, so... that was so much fun I want to do it again soon... I hope you'll give me any suggestion for making it bigger and better next time!

A big CYBERHUG to you all and thanks again for playing with me this week. You're awesome!

In Memoriam...

When I first began riding, Trevor was already ancient. 30 years young for an appaloosa is pretty darn impressive. That was five years ago.

Trevor and I had a tenuous relationship at best. He knew what he wanted to do and most of the time it was not at all what I wanted or expected from him. Being bossed around by a mostly blind, mostly white appaloosa is no bowl of cherries, I can tell you that. But I learned a lot from him.

My most memorable moment with Trevor came on a regular old morning as I was tacking him up for a practice ride. Apparently Trevor had other things in mind for his morning. When I turned around with his saddle in hand I found him lying on the ground, his head hanging from the pole where the rope was looped. I panicked (of course). His eyes were rolled back and he was unresponsive. My good buddy, Leslie, bolted off to get our instructor as I desperately tried to get the halter unhooked so that his head would lie on the ground and he wouldn't suffocate.

When Leslie returned with Debbie, we managed to get him unhooked and then tried, repeatedly, to get him to stand up, to no avail. Someone ran to get the vet, also a boarder at our barn. She came and checked his vitals... everything seemed to be fine. Trevor just wouldn't respond to any of us. In the meantime, I was in tears, fearing I'd killed this horse, or that he'd died while under my care at least...

Close to 10 minutes had passed by and Trevor was still on the ground with his eyes rolled back. Then Debbie had an idea. She ran to the tack room and returned with Trevor's favorite cookie. She waved it in front of him and, eyes still closed, Trevor lifted his head and sniffed eagerly. We all jumped back and Debbie lured that crafty horse to his feet with the cookie! The vet looked him over and pronounced him well enough for all that...

Trevor had just decided that he didn't want to go for a ride that day... and that scaring the life out of ME would be more fun. I never forgave him for that, really. And I'm sure he snickered to himself every time he saw me at the barn.

I learned a few days ago that Trevor has finally crossed the river. Wily trickster that he was, I'm sure he's living large on the other side. Hope you find all the green grass you could ever eat, old man.