Sparks Present: Merlin and Arthurian Legend

What author set off that spark of inspiration for your current Work in Progress?

Strap in, 'cause this story meanders a LOT before I get to the point :)

I think one of the things I like about C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkein is their capacity for embracing myth and legend and through that creating something new. As a young reader, I was not exposed to Arthurian legend, although my father was reading Mary Stewart's Merlin Trilogy around that time.

No, my first exposure to Arthur and Merlin came through the lens of fairytale despot of the day... Walt Disney; more specifically, through "The Sword in the Stone". I enjoyed the whimsical plot and characters in my youth, and it must have stuck with me, because in college I began reading Mary Stewart as well... too intrigued, I suppose... I conveniently "borrowed" the book from my Dad... I gave it back eventually!!

I loved Stewart's rendition of the legend of Merlin and Arthur. She made use of a lot of history and grounded that legend so firmly in the past that, to me, it seemed like it could exist! And Merlin fascinated me... the idea that he was a man, not just a cartoon, sort of swept me away.

When I had the chance, I picked up "The Wicked Day"... a follow up to the Merlin Trilogy, chronicling the life of Mordred, Arthur's bastard son by his half sister... and again, Stewart astounded me. Mordred, the villain son who is responsible for his own father's death, became so real in his flawed humanity that I cried for him!

The characters Stewart represented for me sparked a curiosity in me for the legend of Arthur... and so I read "The Once and Future King" by T.H. White and was shocked to find Disney's inspiration for "The Sword in the Stone" in the first part of that 3 part epic volume. It was not quite so cutesy and clean as Disney had made it, but the echo of the story was there, resonating out of my childhood and into the now.

In the second (and decidedly more dark) part of "The Once and Future King", White takes the reader to the Orkney Islands of northern Scotland... where Stewart had taken us to hear about Mordred growing up... I wanted to know more about this haunting, harsh landscape... and so, through the magic of Google, I began researching the Orkneys.

I eventually went there, even!

Yep, this photo is by me :)

I found a land rich with its own folklore and mythology there and an idea that had been swirling around in my brain struck a chord in the landscape and folklore... and sparked a NEW idea... one that I'll hopefully bring to life in full in November, since I've decided that will be my focus for NaNoWriMo.

So there you have it. I must say that's quite a ramble! And it took a few different authors and an entire landscape to get me there, but... sometimes that's what it takes!

Sparks Past: Narnia and the One Ring

What book made you realize you were doomed to be a writer?
I've known that I wanted to write since I was pretty young... the current Work In Progress I have going I started in high school and it was heavily influenced by two works I had experienced at a young age.

When I was a child, my father used to read to me in the evenings... looking back, I realize that didn't last as long as I would have liked... but before evening reading time disappeared, he made it through The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Chronicles of Narnia.

Between LOTR and Narnia, I think that Narnia had a deeper impact on me... I'm not sure if it was the length of the Chronicles being more accessible at the young age I was first exposed to them... or if it was the character of Aslan, so powerful and reliable (if not "safe")... probably it was the fact that the main characters were children who were sucked into a world beyond their imagining... I always wanted that to happen to me. I would open closets, look under rocks, spend hours wishing to disappear into Narnia and become a queen, ride in a hunt, wield sword or aim a bow...

drawing by Kate "Silverfish" Jennings

I would love to tell you that LOTR and the incredible J.R.R. Tolkein were entirely responsible for my creative bug... I have such high esteem for Tolkein and his amazing world of fantasy. It is, I believe, physically impossible to plumb the depths of the world Tolkein created and find the bottom. I think if the movies had come out when I was still young and impressionable, that would have sealed my fate. But, if Tolkein was going to be trumped by anyone for the place of chief imaginative spark in my life, it could not be anyone better than C.S. Lewis.

Both these authors had a significant impact on the way I conceptualize my fantasy worlds (I'll NEVER write as well, but... hey! A girl's gotta dream!). If you've never read any of the Chronicles, I suggest you give them a try. If you can overlook the heavy allegorical imagery, you're in for a real treat... if you can appreciate the allegory, you're in for double :).

Hmmm... may be time for a re-read... but for now, off to create!

Sparkfest and a rehash of summer goals*

First things first... I'm a follower, for sure, in this world of cyberspace, but you know what they say, Juliemybird? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery :) Through my cool blogging friend, I discovered the Spark Blogfest. Because I know you were wondering, blogfests are an awesome way of networking on-line, in this case with other writers who are also on-line. While they can seem distracting, they actually help you build your follower base, and thus your conversation becomes richer. As we can all see, my conversation needs to become richer!!! Talk to me, people!!!

But back to the Spark Blogfest. The idea is to, over the next couple of days, answer the following 3 questions:

What book made you realize you were doomed to be a writer? 

What author set off that spark of inspiration for your current Work in Progress?

Or, Is there a book or author that changed your world view?

I can't answer those questions immediately because... well, I just can't :) I'm going to have to think about it for a little while and get back to you :) But that means more posting! Which is always good... So be sure to check back later this week (in the next 3 days before Spark Blogfest ends, actually) for an insightful, endearingly ironic post from yours truly.

In other news, re: my writing goals for the summer... I have not done what I might have dreamed here by the end of August 2011... big shocker! But! I have hope! My new plan is to finish my current Work In Progress draft by the end of September. Huge step!!! Draft done means revising can begin! And that's where I'll really have fun, I think. Anyhow, finish by the end of September so that N and I can take a vacation in October (I know, like I need a vacation, but HE does!)... and hopefully I will come back from vacation refreshed and inspired and ready to pound out the first draft of Work In Progress number 2 for NaNoWriMo!! (that's National Novel Writing Month, in case you were wondering... and you should check out their website. It's a pretty cool event/month!)

I can't believe it's already that time of year again! But there you have it! Having a draft done is going to feel SOOooooo good! Now if I can just stop nattering on here long enough to get some work done on it! Wish me luck!

Love and hope to you all!

*Disclaimer: Please ignore the blatant overuse of exclamation points throughout this post. I think I'm trying to work myself into a writer's frenzy :)

Why yes, I do admire you...

It's so much easier to say that sort of thing on the internet than it is in person... for one thing, the odds of my being face to face with Keith Miller, author of "The Book of Flying", are pretty slim... and for another... it's less likely that, when I admit my admiration, you will be able to hear the bottom fall out of my stomach or see/feel the sweat of my palms... thus I keep my dignity, yes?

All this gushing was brought about by a post on Mr. Miller's blog recording a review he received for "The Book of Flying". One of my favorite parts of "The Book..." was the poetic rhythm of Mr. Miller's prose; his alliteration and imagery delighted me! So, when the reviewer said "beautiful writing can be an end unto itself..." I could not help but add a resounding YES!

And now I'm embarrassed... but, hidden behind a computer screen it's less likely to show... although... here I am posting about it. Oh well.

If you've never read "The Book of Flying", by Keith Miller, and if you are a fan of fantasy like I am, I highly recommend that you pick the book up right away. You will be enchanted, to say the least. Then, hop on over to Mr. Miller's blog and learn more! And tell him what an amazing writer you think he is!

I went on a road trip

Over the past 10 days I drove South (and then North again) to visit family and friends. Noah had to work, so I loaded up the dog and he kept me company during the trip. I saw friends from high school, from my Asbury Hills camp days, and my family. Between driving, visiting, and eating there was little time for blogging. I did, however, manage to take a few photos for your pleasure.

Days before my road trip these fantastic friends came to visit.

Daughter of two of my great friends from Asbury Hills. Isn't she a doll?

Tag did so good with the kiddos!

Flowers for the puppy.

I love this tree and its roots!

Some interesting graffiti... food for thought...

Here is a sampling of my family.

The grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary the weekend I was there.

Us grandkids (not everyone was present).

My aunt had us all make a square for this quilt she stitched. (see mine bottom center :))

Family!

I had a really good time hanging out with people. We ate tons of good food, and the large majority of it was vegetarian! I'm so thankful and proud of my family for being willing and able to pull that off. :)

Tag, of course, was a huge success overall. He charmed everyone with his dashing good looks and his lovable personality. He was very tolerant of all the children we came in contact with (yay!) and seemed to handle the changing scenery well. I will definitely take him on more road trips. Too fun!

Now that I'm back, I hope I will have some time to write and renewed energy and focus towards meeting at least one of my summer writing goals. I am so close I can taste it!!!

Tag, happy to be home after a long journey.

Creative space

I know this is a total Proxy project... as Havi would say... maybe it's just downright Avoidance! Who knows? Either way, I hope that it actually helps me move further along towards my super goal of finishing the draft of Novel #1...

Wondering what I'm talking about, eh? Well yesterday I rearranged some furniture... I carved out a, I'm calling it a Workbench, in the dining room (my favorite room in the house)... a place for me to write, or paint, or draw, or even sew (the machine is under the desk). What do you think?

Yay for creative space :)

And yay for sunflowers!

Look how tall!

Tomorrow two amazing friends will be coming for a brief visit... only a couple of days, but it will be SO GOOD to be with them... and then next week I'm driving South with the dog. Eep! At least all those hours I spend in the car I'll have Tag to talk to.

So now I have creative space but no time to use it! Sigh... one of these days...

Ode to Havi, and the freedom to be...

So so thankful to have stumbled 
Upon the blog of one Havi Brooks.
Mostly I just lurk in the shadows... 
soaking up the creative encouragement 
that oozes out of every word,
reveling in the deliciousness of her working vocabulary 
(words like destuckification, biggification, gwish...), 
rejoicing in the Aha! moments her blog inevitably leads me to.

Ok, so maybe not a perfect ode... I'm out of practice. But I wanted to tell you all, anyone who reads what I write here, about how great this blog is for finding the encouragement to power through a project, the courage to face your monsters, and the comfort of knowing that you're not the only person who has ever hit the wall you're currently trying to recover from slamming into. Seriously... I have been marking the days in "ducks"... her little sidekick is a rubber duck, who is the icon on the tab next to the title of the current post... and the number of ducks on my tabs = the amount of encouragement I may or may not need from those posts!

"What brought on this sudden gush?" you ask. Well, like I said, I've been lurking on and off around her site for months... and then yesterday, I read the post "Avoidance! Oh, and getting out of it." And I cried... because here she was, telling me that the guilt, pain, and pressure I've been living under (my own little heavy rock)... the one that says that because I can and will do anything I can to avoid writing must mean I am not supposed to do it... that it's normal! What?!!

"There is a perfectly good reason to avoid the thing that means everything to you — whether it is your art, your writing, your secret mission, your own heart, or whatever.


In fact, avoidance of the thing which has meaning and power for you is the most understandable and normal thing I can think of.


Here is this thing — ohmygod the thing! — that has incalculable symbolic weight for you.


You’re avoiding the thing that’s holding all your dreams? Good grief! Of course you are! That symbolic weight? It’s that much potential for hurt and disappointment."

Wow... and here I'd been telling myself I must not care about it at all... and pulverizing myself into dust for not being more committed, more passionate, more motivated... to which she says:


"If you weren’t avoiding it on some level, I’d be worried about you. If you could do the thing easily and painlessly, without having to spend years and years working on your stuff to get there… I’d probably assume that it didn’t mean everything to you.


It’s not this: “Even though I thought this meant everything to me, I’m still avoiding it so clearly I don’t really care about it.”


It’s this: “Wow, this means everything to me… so of course I’m avoiding it.”


Where things get complicated and tangled.


Where it hurts.


Where it gets tangled up is exactly here. The stuck happens inside of the resistance that you place around the question.


Instead of recognizing your pain, you start to question yourself and your commitment.


Instead of treating your avoidance as a natural sign that this thing is so powerful and so important for you that of course you’re going to run away from it, you give this avoidance the power of truth.


You start to think that if you cared about your dream you’d invest in it, when the truth is that when we really care about our dreams we run away from them in panic and terror.


Until we recognize just how legitimate our fear really is.


Because avoidance is fear’s favorite thing to wear."


This is the point at which I started to cry... because she must be talking directly to ME!!! And yep... it hurts and it's more than a little bit scary... the process of recognition, of facing and defeating your (my) fears.

So here's the thing... my whole life I've been worrying that I need to do things right, better... and that for the most part I've been doing things wrong, otherwise my life would look differently than it does (i.e. I'd be successful... never be depressed... etc...) ... and I've been paralyzed by the inability to allow myself to break things or make messes... because one wrong move could mean disaster (i.e. everyone will see that I've made a mistake).

With writing, this is terrible because... the whole point of the process is that your first drafts (yes, there will be multiple) are not supposed to be perfect, but that every successive draft will get better! Except that I haven't been able to get past the first draft... because it's not already perfect... and because I've been so afraid that I'll fail miserably at being a writer of fiction... afraid that I may already HAVE failed at it... I have been fleeing this project... in earnest for the past year, but really since its conception way back when I was in high school.

And all this time... I've been saying that I must not really care... when in fact it's been one of the deepest desires of my heart. How did she KNOW?

Havi doesn't always have all the answers... let's be honest, if she did we'd all need to camp outside her house and accost her for words of wisdom every time she left to take a walk... and I don't think she'd like that AT ALL... but Havi's blog DOES have a wonderful box of creative tools for working OUT the answers for yourself (myself)... including:

"Some of the “useful questions” that I’ve been working with:


What if I’m allowed to be scared of the things that are meaningful and important to me?
What if there’s an easier way of doing things?
What do I need?
What will help me feel safe and supported?"


Thanks to Havi, now I've recognized that avoidance for what it really IS! And it's not magically better, but at least I make more sense to myself now... and can stop with the pulverizing... until the next time I need to be reminded that avoidance is normal... For now it's enough to remind myself that the things I thought I cared about really are the things I care about! I can stop doubting myself and get down to the business of being me... and facing and defeating my fears. (oh, and writing that novel :))