Baby steps

So progress is progress, right? After a couple of months of shirking, I have finally written a few more pages and I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel... meaning I have figured out how I want it to end, this WIP (that's Work In Progress for those of you who don't know) I have had hanging over my head for ... well... years, really. It's a mess and whole sections of it will have to be rewritten... but after a brief conversation with Noah last night, I believe I have found my resolution! And that's what counts right now... just getting it written... and then I can spend the NEXT 20 years editing it :)... Actually, it's probably only 15 years... and if you count how many years I spent NOT working on it... it's not really that long at ALL, right? Sigh...

Now if I can just get through the last pages of the beast...

Summer continues to forge ahead in the heat of its glory. And we have red sunflowers now...

and cucumbers and tomatoes...

 And more wildflowers...

And I'm slowly molding my insecurity into something more manageable, or learning to see it for what it really is... baby steps...

Self-Portraits...

So, I decided I should do some self portraits because I, deep down... like the rest of humanity... am narcissistic and who doesn't like to see pictures of themselves...? Really...

The thing is, I haven't prepared for a project like that... and really I should be more creative about it... I just pointed  the camera at myself and this is what I ended up with...

Scary, really... the pores on my face are so ... obvious... and I have so many skin blemishes! Hmmmm... I think the object of a self portrait project (besides narcissism) will have to be learning to love myself the way that I am... because while I look at those blemishes and think "God! I should wear make-up!" the thing is that I won't... and I shouldn't have to hide my imperfections... Isn't the dog cute? :)

But it could also be fun to REALLY make myself up... to be wildly fanciful... to tap that part of me that wishes I had wings or was a tree sprite... so maybe this project will evolve... I need to find a way to release the creative spirit that is trapped within me... and hopefully she will start to write again soon.

"My soul
It's dying to be freed
You see.. I can't live the rest of my life
So guarded
It's dying to be freed
It's up to me to choose
What kind of life I'd lead" Marie Digby

The end of an era

It is the end of an era, and I would be remiss if I didn't post something about Harry Potter today, given the special place those books, movies, and characters have in my heart.

I find myself tearing up a bit as I read other posts on the passing of a great age of anticipation... posts in which people talk about growing up with Harry Potter, the books and the movies, about what sadness they feel at this being the last film, or how the story never really ends...

I was a late comer to Harry Potter... Books 1-4 were already in paperback by the time I picked up "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," but I was immediately hooked. J.K. Rowling's clever plot and emotionally compelling characters stole my heart and my imagination. I found myself wishing that a secret world of wizards really did exist... and hoping that if it did, I was not a muggle! I cried when Dumbledore died... all throughout the 7th book, and also when Rowling shows Neville at St. Mungos with his mentally impaired mother... the deep feeling Rowling conveyed there touched me in a way that not many authors manage to do.

In the past 10 years, I have eagerly awaited the release of each movie and book, gobbled them up with equal relish, wondered what would happen next, grumbled when Hollywood altered details... Harry Potter has been, and will likely continue to be, great fodder for conversations. But we will truly lose that atmosphere of anticipation... we have to learn how to grow up out of that... to look forward to each day because it is a new day... to let anticipation evolve into something more meaningful.

I am a re-reader. I have already re-read the Potter books this year, as I have done in years past and will likely continue to do. Now is the time for a world fixated on anticipation to return and find the rest of the riches that come out of a deeper understanding of the story.

I am sad that after today there will be no new adventures in the world of Harry Potter to look forward to... but I am glad that the story and its characters remain, familiar friends to revisit and enjoy.

A firework fountain on the end of our dock at July 4

Crafty Crafty :)

I have spent the past week being super crafty! I taught myself a few new knit stitches... and taught myself not to put wool in the dryer (oops)... and I brought the sewing machine out again in an effort to organize my knitting supplies a little more.

My awesome "Stitch 'n' Bitch" book (bottom left corner of the first photo) has patterns for a few organizational implements that I put together and put straight to use! First, the needle holder:

interior view (ignore my clutter...)

The red flap holds the needles in their pockets... exterior view.

Then I made a hanging pocket for my circular needles. I still need to iron on labels to indicate size/length of the needles...

And I made a bag...

I know it's a little dark, but I just love this fabric!

Ok, ok, so those aren't the best photos I've ever taken, but they illustrate the point adequately.

As I spent time in front of the sewing machine and knitting needles, I decided I'd re-watch the Star Trek: The Next Generation series. Dad was a Trek fan. I remember watching old Star Trek reruns when I was a kid, and we kept up with TNG pretty regularly, as well. I was looking forward to revisiting the series.

Sadly, I've made it well into season two, and I just can't bring myself to like it... It seems cheesy, affected... the acting is terrible... the story lines wrap up all too neatly in a forty minute period.. I can't connect to the characters... and sadly I feel like I'm being preached to most of the time. Sigh. The concepts they touch on are imaginative, for sure... and I know that those concepts inspired a generation of creative thinkers and scientists to push the boundaries of reality... but I was hoping for better than I found re: the story/character interaction/etc. Obviously memory doesn't serve very well here.

It probably doesn't help that in the evenings I'm watching Dr. Who with Noah. There are certain things I don't care for in Dr. Who, either (i.e. the Doctor's need to rescue a helpless female in every episode.), but the characters are much more personable/affecting than the NG characters and if the plots resolve unrealistically quickly, at least there is a good reason for it. I mean, he is after all a 900 year old Time Lord for crying out loud, he's bound to have amassed a supernatural amount of knowledge about the universe in that time.

Anyhow... I digress... I have another post coming as soon as I can get myself around to writing it... and I hope you'll hang with me 'til I get there. I still haven't written any more on the novel(s) yet... but I think I'm approaching a breakthrough in the psychological block. We'll see. Fingers crossed!

Here are some nicer photos to part with... the backyard is abloom, the tomatoes are ripening, the cucumbers are swelling, and the pumpkins have sprouted (a little late I realize...). Summer!

Procrastination part 2

My awesome friend Aya (sister to my awesome friend Emi) just shared this video on procrastination with me and I had to post it to share with YOU!

Evolution of a quilt square

Oh the ways I can devise to distract myself from my writing goals...

This was a project request I got from my aunt, though. Make an 8x8 inch quilt square that represents "us" (Noah and me). I've never made a quilt square before this one... so after some thought on the design, this is what I came up with...

Then, because she liked it so much, she asked me to make one with a strawberry on it (the quilt is for my grandmother who loves strawberries).

I had far too much fun with this project :) It got me scheming... and COMPLETELY off the writing track. I'll have to work my way back quickly or I'm going to lose all my summer time! But at least I'm having fun.

Oh, and here's the original photo I used for inspiration:

Summertime, sigh

I really do love the summertime. It's warm, it's humid, and everyone seems more relaxed in general.

This week I'm a bit sad, because my good friend Lori is leaving for Yellowstone on Friday. After having her live with us for the past 10 months or so, I will miss her presence greatly! But, I'm happy for her. She is moving on, after all, to a job I know she'll excel at and in such a beautiful place! Sigh. I'll just have to visit her!

We've been doing fun things in honor of her last week (if not officially calling those things out as "going away, Lori" things)... like our vegetarian barbecue last weekend with grilled pineapple... and eating by a fire on the patio the other night... more reasons I love summer, if they also mean my friend going away soon... we'll do them in her honor when she's gone, too!

I finally edited the photos I took the other day... socks... it was time consuming! And I've realized how little I actually know about my camera, so I pulled out some good o'l books to help me figure a couple of things out. Hopefully the next shoot will produce improved results. I'm not disappointed with the results from this experience... just recognizing the room for improvement :)

That photo experience also helped me realize I'm not as young as I used to be! My knees and back were SORE from a lot of crouching and rising to get camera and subjects into the optimal position. I'm going to bring a stool with me next time to see if it helps... but I may need to re-imagine this "studio" to make sure I don't creak and groan so much after each session.

Also, I will do more yoga.

I have yet to sit down and work on my writing. I think I've become very good at making up excuses for NOT doing it. How I'm ever going to get around to it, I have no idea. I'm sure I'll think of something. I mean, I have to, right?

I'm using the time "well" though, reading more YA literature... and sketching... stretching the imagination...

and I am getting in my hikes usually... and had a paid photo session... so goals are coming together, if not how I envisioned them quite yet. Where would I be if I was not flexible? And now I'm off to practice more creativity and avoidance :) Here's to summertime!