So, Hi readers! It's been a while, I know... I mean, since I've posted for anything besides IWSG. I am still working on inspiration here, and it's been dry recently. I apologize. I'm eternally hopeful that I will begin posting here more soon.
In the meantime, I wanted to invite you over to my editing blog at http://writingrefinery.blogspot.com. I write there almost as frequently as I do here (lol). But there I share writing tips, my experiences as an editor, and my deep and evergreen love for Harry Potter. If you think you can handle that, I'd love to see you there, too. And I could use some "followers". It feels a little lonely over there.
I'll still be writing here as regularly as ever, but I thought perhaps some of you might like to share with me over there, as well.
So stop by and say hi! I'd love to hear from you.
Showing posts with label Writing Refinery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing Refinery. Show all posts
Friday, October 24, 2014
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Insecure Writer's Support Group: Just Write
This month's post is my submission for the IWSG Guide to Publishing and Beyond, for the category "Writing".
You know, I've been working on this insecurity for a while now, this idea
that there are no set "rules" for how to be a writer. You
just...write. But that doesn't mean you write every day, always, although maybe
you do...It means just what it says: You just write. It doesn't mean that you
have books published, or an agent, or that you're in the process of querying
everyone in the publishing industry. You just write.
So much of our insecure writers’ lives are spent seeking
validation from other people, people we deem to know more about the business of
writing than we do. We give them the power to tell us whether our ideas are any
good, whether our plots are properly executed, whether we’re allowed to take up
space at the next writer’s conference if we don’t know what a query is…when
really, what we want them to do is tell us that we belong to this magical group:
Writers! And, sadly, there will always be someone who wants to keep other
people out, because they’re just as insecure as we are that there won’t be room
for them in that group if they let us in.
The truth is, though, that we are the ones with the power to tell
our stories. We decide what is good. And by the very act of writing we declare
to the world that we belong.
Do you have an outline? Just write. Do you
have a first draft? Just write. Do you have five published novels and a
contract on a new series? Just write. Do you have the tiniest baby of an idea
percolating in your mind? Just write! Write it down. Then guess what? You're a
writer!
Elisabeth Kauffman is a freelance editor of fiction and you can find her on the web at www.writingrefinery.com.
(I give the IWSG Anthology permission to reprint this blog post for their publication "The Insecure Writer's Support Group Guide to Publishing and Beyond)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
A to Z Challenge: L is for Language
(I totally fell to pieces during April's A to Z Challenge... but I promised to follow through no matter how long it took to get to the end. So here's an installment, for your reading pleasure. Thanks for sticking with me!)
When drafting your piece, be it short fiction or long, it's important to remember that the words you choose carry weight and that consistency of voice will add depth to your characters just as much as the actions and thoughts and feelings that those words convey.
When I'm writing a first draft, basically I'm grabbing at whatever words will do to get my point across. They're like place holders. The first draft is a marathon and LANGUAGE doesn't matter as much as getting the ideas down on paper.
When I'm editing, word choice becomes much more significant. The language I choose to describe a scene will greatly enhance the experience of the reader. Words hold powerful influence over how we perceive a character or setting.
Consider the following three examples taken from the first pages of three incredible books. (By the by, I'm moving in a few weeks, so all my Harry Potter books are already packed. These three books were chosen from what has not been packed yet.)
------------------------------------
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.
I prop myself up on one elbow. There's enough light in the bedroom to see them. My little sister, Prim, curled up on her side, cocooned in my mother's body, their cheeks pressed together. In sleep, my mother looks younger, still worn but not so beaten-down. Prim's face is as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as the primrose for which she was named. My mother was very beautiful once, too. Or so they tell me.
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner, as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. The late owner of this estate was a single man, who lived to a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life, had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. But her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in his hoe; for to supply her loss, he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwood, the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. In the society of his nephew and niece, and their children, the old Gentleman's days were comfortably spent. His attachment to them all increased. The constant attention of r. and Mrs. Henry Dashwood to his wishes, which proceeded not merely from interest, but from goodness of hear, gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive; and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence.
The Book of Flying - Keith Miller
I am dreaming. I'm dreaming of a city, a white city in the sun by the sea, a city of bells and birdcages, boatswains and ballyhoo, where heart-faced wenches lean bare-breasted from balconies to dry their hair among geraniums and the air is salt and soft and in the harbor sailors swagger from ships that bear cargos of spices. In this city a thousand doves live in the hundred towers of a hundred bells and in the mornings when the bell ringers toll a summons to the sun the doves scatter like blown ash across the tile roofs and light under eaves whispering lulling words to sleepers, bidding them stay in bed a little longer. And on the silver sky other wings rise.
-----------------------------------------
In each case above, the language employed by the author paints a distinct picture. The narrative voice and the setting are solidified through the words chosen to describe the action. Imagine the picture you would get if the opening passage of the Hunger Games was written in the style that Keith Miller uses for the Book of Flying. You might not feel Katniss's discontent or sense of urgency at all. Miller is painting us a picture of a beautiful land of enchantment. We couldn't imagine otherwise after reading those opening words.
Jane Austen's prose, far from being just a portrait of the times in which she lived, is calculated to give you an idyllic impression of the situation of the social class she is writing about, just before she smashes it all to pieces (ever so subtly and wittily, of course).
When they say a picture paints a thousand words... remember that a word, that LANGUAGE paints pictures as well. Choose your images with care.
When drafting your piece, be it short fiction or long, it's important to remember that the words you choose carry weight and that consistency of voice will add depth to your characters just as much as the actions and thoughts and feelings that those words convey.
When I'm writing a first draft, basically I'm grabbing at whatever words will do to get my point across. They're like place holders. The first draft is a marathon and LANGUAGE doesn't matter as much as getting the ideas down on paper.
When I'm editing, word choice becomes much more significant. The language I choose to describe a scene will greatly enhance the experience of the reader. Words hold powerful influence over how we perceive a character or setting.
Consider the following three examples taken from the first pages of three incredible books. (By the by, I'm moving in a few weeks, so all my Harry Potter books are already packed. These three books were chosen from what has not been packed yet.)
------------------------------------
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.
I prop myself up on one elbow. There's enough light in the bedroom to see them. My little sister, Prim, curled up on her side, cocooned in my mother's body, their cheeks pressed together. In sleep, my mother looks younger, still worn but not so beaten-down. Prim's face is as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as the primrose for which she was named. My mother was very beautiful once, too. Or so they tell me.
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner, as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. The late owner of this estate was a single man, who lived to a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life, had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. But her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in his hoe; for to supply her loss, he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwood, the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. In the society of his nephew and niece, and their children, the old Gentleman's days were comfortably spent. His attachment to them all increased. The constant attention of r. and Mrs. Henry Dashwood to his wishes, which proceeded not merely from interest, but from goodness of hear, gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive; and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence.
The Book of Flying - Keith Miller
I am dreaming. I'm dreaming of a city, a white city in the sun by the sea, a city of bells and birdcages, boatswains and ballyhoo, where heart-faced wenches lean bare-breasted from balconies to dry their hair among geraniums and the air is salt and soft and in the harbor sailors swagger from ships that bear cargos of spices. In this city a thousand doves live in the hundred towers of a hundred bells and in the mornings when the bell ringers toll a summons to the sun the doves scatter like blown ash across the tile roofs and light under eaves whispering lulling words to sleepers, bidding them stay in bed a little longer. And on the silver sky other wings rise.
-----------------------------------------
In each case above, the language employed by the author paints a distinct picture. The narrative voice and the setting are solidified through the words chosen to describe the action. Imagine the picture you would get if the opening passage of the Hunger Games was written in the style that Keith Miller uses for the Book of Flying. You might not feel Katniss's discontent or sense of urgency at all. Miller is painting us a picture of a beautiful land of enchantment. We couldn't imagine otherwise after reading those opening words.
Jane Austen's prose, far from being just a portrait of the times in which she lived, is calculated to give you an idyllic impression of the situation of the social class she is writing about, just before she smashes it all to pieces (ever so subtly and wittily, of course).
When they say a picture paints a thousand words... remember that a word, that LANGUAGE paints pictures as well. Choose your images with care.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Reading with intention
 |
| Not my house |
It's been a few months now since my reading schedule got a mind of its own. I'm a freelance editor, you see. What that means is that sometimes for months at a time people hurl manuscripts at me and my job is to read them and assess them or correct them or provide suggestions on their improvement... as fast as possible.
Now don't get me wrong. I love this job. It's the most inspiring and exhilarating thing I can think to do with my time and I get paid to do it!
But somewhere along the way a line has to be drawn in the sand. Somehow, amid all the not-yet-published-works-of-amazingness (or not-so-amazingness), I need to be filling my brain with something that reinforces what makes a book a work of amazingness... because otherwise the image of the ideal starts to liquefy.
And so I start flailing about for something to read that is either a classic or current market favorite. It's a good thing my house is stacked full of books. I'm never far from something to read.
Susan Sontag says, "Reading, the love of reading, is what makes you dream of becoming a writer." For anyone who desires to improve in the craft of writing (or editing), a conscientiously built reading list is a must. I struggle at maintaining this kind of discipline in my own reading life, largely because I am an emotional reader. I think that explains why I keep re-reading Harry Potter. I am attached to those characters at a deeply emotional level, and so returning to them and the world that J.K. Rowling created is a comfort that I cannot resist.
Still, I recognize the need to branch out, and so while flailing for books, I'm also casting about for inspiration. One of my favorite places to turn for reading list fodder is Margo Berendsen. She never fails to have a recommendation that tantalizes. The most recent recommendation of hers that I read and loved was The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson.
I also snagged a copy of the Indie Book Awards list from BEA (Book Expo America) this year, and I'm eager to try out a few of those authors as well.
Currently I'm reading a biography of Zelda Fitzgerald by Nancy Milford (from my flailing about)... and next in my queue is The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (a Twitter inspired choice).
But what about you, dear reader? Where do you find your own inspiration? What books have left you bursting with emotion? I'd like to add them to my list!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Still breathing
I'm stopping by to say "Hi" and "I'm still alive." It's been a crazy month for me, and I have a lot to do moving forward. I am pondering retooling this blog... I am keeping my business going... I am moving to California at the end of the summer... and somewhere in the midst of all that I am creating... something. I hope you are all well. I'll leave you with a detail of my new painting. Love and lots of literature to you all!
Monday, April 1, 2013
A to Z Challenge Kickoff: Let's start with A
Today is the beginning of the A to Z Challenge. This is where a bunch of crazy bloggers all decide to take the weekdays in the month of April to post on topics that begin with a different letter of the alphabet every day. If you want to join, there's still time! Just follow this link.
A big shout out to ARLEE BIRD, founder of the challenge. What a fun idea! So glad to be able to participate!
My theme for this month will be (loosely) the ABC's of the Editing Process. This collection of random ramblings will have perspectives on editing and writing techniques that will hopefully help strengthen the quality of OUR writing and OUR final products. Yep, not just giving out advice here. I'm hoping to learn something for my own craft, too! I can't wait to hear your feedback, as well, so leave lots of comments.
So without further ado: A stands for Action
Action is the main vehicle for getting your characters from "Once Upon a Time," to "The End." Without action, your MC would never learn that he is a wizard, find that golden ticket, stand up against the oppressive regime that forces children to fight children to the death, or fall in love with his best friend. Your MC wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning!
One of the main pitfalls of the beginning writer is the tendency to want to describe everything, to tell the reader about the details of setting and characters, even down to the brand of jeans or what cars are driving by on the street. We spend hours crafting the perfect sentence that will describe exactly what everything in our head (or in front of our eyes) looks like. While nothing is more important that setting the scene, when it comes to details (or the overuse of them), less is more! They call this concept "Show, don't Tell." If the detail is important, somehow it will fit into the action.
This is not to say that a manuscript should be all action, but action moves the plot forward while description puts the plot in neutral... it's not moving backward, but it's not really going anywhere. Finding the balance that fits your plot is the key. If we're having a thrilling car chase or a heated argument, the rest of the details will naturally fall in the background (into that less is more category). If the MC is pondering the meaning of life while sitting on the edge of Santa Monica Pier, it's possible that the details will be more relevant to what you're trying to convey.
While some readers are philosophers, and some texts need accurate description to be understood, most readers are just looking for the action and they'll skim right over that detailed description of what the ceremonial knife set looked like. Even if they read it word for word, there's no guarantee that what they see is what you see. There are some things that have to be let go.
I know it's hard, but take a look at your WIP (work in progress). Locate those chunks of descriptive prose. Yes, you were poetic, an artist unparalleled. Now decide if that description really adds to the theme/symbolism/plot/character in a way that the reader will connect with. Can't decide? Ask an honest friend or a crit partner. If the answer is no, consider cutting it out of the action and squirrel it away for the supplemental materials they'll want to print after your book has made you famous.
A big shout out to ARLEE BIRD, founder of the challenge. What a fun idea! So glad to be able to participate!
So without further ado: A stands for Action
Action is the main vehicle for getting your characters from "Once Upon a Time," to "The End." Without action, your MC would never learn that he is a wizard, find that golden ticket, stand up against the oppressive regime that forces children to fight children to the death, or fall in love with his best friend. Your MC wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning!
One of the main pitfalls of the beginning writer is the tendency to want to describe everything, to tell the reader about the details of setting and characters, even down to the brand of jeans or what cars are driving by on the street. We spend hours crafting the perfect sentence that will describe exactly what everything in our head (or in front of our eyes) looks like. While nothing is more important that setting the scene, when it comes to details (or the overuse of them), less is more! They call this concept "Show, don't Tell." If the detail is important, somehow it will fit into the action.
This is not to say that a manuscript should be all action, but action moves the plot forward while description puts the plot in neutral... it's not moving backward, but it's not really going anywhere. Finding the balance that fits your plot is the key. If we're having a thrilling car chase or a heated argument, the rest of the details will naturally fall in the background (into that less is more category). If the MC is pondering the meaning of life while sitting on the edge of Santa Monica Pier, it's possible that the details will be more relevant to what you're trying to convey.
While some readers are philosophers, and some texts need accurate description to be understood, most readers are just looking for the action and they'll skim right over that detailed description of what the ceremonial knife set looked like. Even if they read it word for word, there's no guarantee that what they see is what you see. There are some things that have to be let go.
I know it's hard, but take a look at your WIP (work in progress). Locate those chunks of descriptive prose. Yes, you were poetic, an artist unparalleled. Now decide if that description really adds to the theme/symbolism/plot/character in a way that the reader will connect with. Can't decide? Ask an honest friend or a crit partner. If the answer is no, consider cutting it out of the action and squirrel it away for the supplemental materials they'll want to print after your book has made you famous.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
A rung on the ladder of life (or NEWS!)**Updated**
I'm going to post this announcement today, even though I suppose it's slightly premature... in that I haven't received my paperwork yet... but...
I am a newly minted Assistant Editor for Entangled Publishing! Seriously excited about this, folks. It's a tiny, bottom-rung job and I'll probably be making beans and doing tons of work for it... but it's an editing position with a publishing company! I'll be putting actual hours toward experience, learning more about the craft in the process, and helping authors achieve their dreams of being published!
I'm on one of the category romance lines right now. It's as good a place as any to start, I figure. I don't get to acquire anything (too low on the ladder as yet), but I'm hoping that this position will lead to bigger things in the future! I'm looking forward to posting more of my deep, dark musings about the editorial process from this new perspective. I hope you'll make sure to drop in and comment occasionally.
I have been freelancing as a developmental editor for YA and sci-fi novels for around 6 months now, as well, and I hope to continue doing that work... A girl's gotta have her pet projects. So if you know anyone who needs their MS edited, make sure to send them to Writing Refinery.
Coming soon:
Photos from a Roller Derby excursion. It was my first time attending a bout. Super fun!
**UPDATED**
No, Leslie, this does not mean we're staying in CT. It's a remote position that I can do from wherever I happen to live. :)
I am a newly minted Assistant Editor for Entangled Publishing! Seriously excited about this, folks. It's a tiny, bottom-rung job and I'll probably be making beans and doing tons of work for it... but it's an editing position with a publishing company! I'll be putting actual hours toward experience, learning more about the craft in the process, and helping authors achieve their dreams of being published!I'm on one of the category romance lines right now. It's as good a place as any to start, I figure. I don't get to acquire anything (too low on the ladder as yet), but I'm hoping that this position will lead to bigger things in the future! I'm looking forward to posting more of my deep, dark musings about the editorial process from this new perspective. I hope you'll make sure to drop in and comment occasionally.
I have been freelancing as a developmental editor for YA and sci-fi novels for around 6 months now, as well, and I hope to continue doing that work... A girl's gotta have her pet projects. So if you know anyone who needs their MS edited, make sure to send them to Writing Refinery.
Coming soon:
Photos from a Roller Derby excursion. It was my first time attending a bout. Super fun!
**UPDATED**
No, Leslie, this does not mean we're staying in CT. It's a remote position that I can do from wherever I happen to live. :)
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
A NaNo fiasco... and what I learned from failure
Ok, so... didn't even come close to hitting my word target for NaNo. I mean, yes I know there are still 4 days left and that I could probably write 6,000 words a day and reach the 50,000 word goal for the month... but I think that would be missing something.
I can think of a few REALLY good excuses for not meeting the goal this year (i.e., travel, company for the holidays...) but what it comes down to is, I got bored with my plot. I think I just hit a point around 25,000 words where all I wanted to do was end it, kill somebody off, or wrap it up nice and neatly... and so I stopped writing because I knew that attitude wasn't going to get me to 50,000 words. And even if I could have managed to pound out the word count, I would have been disappointed with the whole thing. That's not what I want!
I really like my plot/idea for this story, and I am taking this moment to acknowledge in front of my amazing writing community/followers that I want more for it than just the chance to say "I won NaNo 2012." So starting tomorrow I am going back to the drawing board and mapping out more and better scenes for my plot.
I hope you'll all hold me to finishing this project even though it'll be outside NaNo... especially BECAUSE it will be outside NaNo. I can use all the encouragement I can get!
Also, I'm jonesing for a developmental editing project. Anybody got anything they need worked on? I'll give you a deal you can't refuse! E-mail me at ekauffman (AT) writingrefinery (DOT) com.
I can think of a few REALLY good excuses for not meeting the goal this year (i.e., travel, company for the holidays...) but what it comes down to is, I got bored with my plot. I think I just hit a point around 25,000 words where all I wanted to do was end it, kill somebody off, or wrap it up nice and neatly... and so I stopped writing because I knew that attitude wasn't going to get me to 50,000 words. And even if I could have managed to pound out the word count, I would have been disappointed with the whole thing. That's not what I want!
I really like my plot/idea for this story, and I am taking this moment to acknowledge in front of my amazing writing community/followers that I want more for it than just the chance to say "I won NaNo 2012." So starting tomorrow I am going back to the drawing board and mapping out more and better scenes for my plot.
I hope you'll all hold me to finishing this project even though it'll be outside NaNo... especially BECAUSE it will be outside NaNo. I can use all the encouragement I can get!
Also, I'm jonesing for a developmental editing project. Anybody got anything they need worked on? I'll give you a deal you can't refuse! E-mail me at ekauffman (AT) writingrefinery (DOT) com.
Monday, November 19, 2012
A website and a lull in writing
Next, I'd just like to put it out there that I'm stuck in the NaNo doldrums. I was doing so well writing while I was on vacation... I made sure to carve out time every day to chip away at my word count and stayed ahead of the game for the most part.
And then I came home... home is so much more distracting than vacation! It wouldn't seem that way. But it is. I have so many projects waiting to be completed, so many books to read, and cats and a dog that clamor for attention. Sigh... I really have got to get back on the bandwagon!
How is everyone else doing?
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Something Else Important About Beats in Dialogue
A few months ago I wrote this post about dialogue tags. I have heard (and read) so many different opinions since then re: dialogue beats and tags, their usage, and what makes a good scene. I felt like it was time to ponder the subject again.
The general feeling is that if dialogue in a scene needs the tags, it's poorly written; that writers should aim for conveying emotion through the characters' words instead of spoon-feeding it to the readers in the narration. It is the mark of an insecure writer that he feels the need to give you information that should have been conveyed in the dialogue, to make sure the reader understands that his characters are emoting or what the scene is supposed to reveal. Trust the reader to figure out what the dialogue "means". And after having a couple of critique partners review it, if they point out that a run of dialogue really is too obscure, then take the time to re-write. Beats are easy to add where they are needed. It's harder to extract them, I find.
In the book "Self-editing for Fiction Writers" by Renni Browne and David King, the authors suggest:
I don't think that all beats and tags are bad. I do think a writer needs to choose her beats wisely and make the most of them. First she needs to understand the anatomy of the scene she is writing: What are the key emotions at play here? How fast is the exchange between characters supposed to feel? What else is going on in the scene? and Which actions are important to the development of the scene?
And now, because examples in real life are always fun, I'm going to borrow from J.K. Rowling to illustrate my point. What I love about Rowling is that she's not perfect. But her characters emotions are perfectly conveyed.
............................................
Excerpt from "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban":
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione screamed.
Lupin let go of Black and turned to her. She raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed. "You-- you--"
"Hermione--"
"--you and him!"
"Hermione, calm down--"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you--"
"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Lupin shouted. "I can explain--"
Harry could feel himself shaking, not with fear, but with a fresh wave of fury.
"I trusted you," he shouted at Lupin, his voice wavering out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!"
"You're wrong," said Lupin. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now--Let me explain..."
"NO!" Hermione screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too--he's a werewolf!"
Excerpt from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix":
"There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry," said Dumbledore's voice. "On the contrary... the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."
Harry felt the white-hot anger lick his insides, blazing in the terrible emptiness, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore for his calmness and his empty words.
"My greatest strength, is it?" said Harry, his voice shaking as he stared out at the Quidditch stadium, no longer seeing it. "You haven't got a clue... You don't know..."
"What don't I know?" asked Dumbledore calmly.
It was too much. Harry turned around, shaking with rage.
"I don't want to talk about how I feel, all right?"
"Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human--"
"THEN--I--DON'T--WANT--TO--BE--HUMAN!" Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, "Really!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE--"
He seized the table on which the silver instrument had stood and threw that too. It broke apart on the floor and the legs rolled in different directions.
"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
......................................................
These two scenes illustrate very different emotions. Characters in both scenes do a lot of yelling, but the timing of the dialogue is the key to the emotions in each scene. In the Prisoner of Azkaban scene, the urgency of the scene is conveyed by quick back-and-forth dialogue. If you remember the same scene in the movie, there are a lot of actions that the characters take (i.e. looking to and from one another; Hermione steps in front of Harry to shield him from Sirius and Lupin; Lupin reaches out to implore Hermione to listen). None of those actions are portrayed in the dialogue, because to add them, while giving you a physically more accurate description, would take away from the momentum of the scene. The readers can just as easily imagine the action as they read the dialogue.
In the second scene, from the Order of the Phoenix, the dialogue progresses much more slowly. The emotion in this scene does not come from a rapid-fire exchange (although Harry does do a fair bit of shouting), but from Dumbledore's slow and calculated responses. The deep feelings of regret and care for Harry that Dumbledore expresses come to light through his patience in allowing Harry the space to explore his own emotions. The pace of the dialogue allows much more room for beats of character action (all taken by Harry, a detail that is also telling...). But more than that, each beat has a purpose, shows the emotion rather than telling it (more often than not).
As a writer, understanding what your characters are going through and how they would respond to one another in a scene can mean the difference between capturing the readers' hearts and getting lost in the details. The right beats in the right places give meaning to the words spoken and emotions felt by your characters, allowing the reader to peek through the windows in their souls.
Thoughts?
The general feeling is that if dialogue in a scene needs the tags, it's poorly written; that writers should aim for conveying emotion through the characters' words instead of spoon-feeding it to the readers in the narration. It is the mark of an insecure writer that he feels the need to give you information that should have been conveyed in the dialogue, to make sure the reader understands that his characters are emoting or what the scene is supposed to reveal. Trust the reader to figure out what the dialogue "means". And after having a couple of critique partners review it, if they point out that a run of dialogue really is too obscure, then take the time to re-write. Beats are easy to add where they are needed. It's harder to extract them, I find.
In the book "Self-editing for Fiction Writers" by Renni Browne and David King, the authors suggest:
"It's best to replace only a few of your speaker attributions with beats. A beat after every line of dialogue is even more distracting than too many speaker attributions. What you want is a comfortable balance."I tend to agree with that sentiment. Too many tags or beats in a run of dialogue can throw off the momentum of the scene so much that the readers forget what the characters are talking about by the end of the page!
I don't think that all beats and tags are bad. I do think a writer needs to choose her beats wisely and make the most of them. First she needs to understand the anatomy of the scene she is writing: What are the key emotions at play here? How fast is the exchange between characters supposed to feel? What else is going on in the scene? and Which actions are important to the development of the scene?
And now, because examples in real life are always fun, I'm going to borrow from J.K. Rowling to illustrate my point. What I love about Rowling is that she's not perfect. But her characters emotions are perfectly conveyed.
............................................
Excerpt from "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban":
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione screamed.
Lupin let go of Black and turned to her. She raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed. "You-- you--"
"Hermione--"
"--you and him!"
"Hermione, calm down--"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you--"
"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Lupin shouted. "I can explain--"
Harry could feel himself shaking, not with fear, but with a fresh wave of fury.
"I trusted you," he shouted at Lupin, his voice wavering out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!"
"You're wrong," said Lupin. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now--Let me explain..."
"NO!" Hermione screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too--he's a werewolf!"
Excerpt from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix":
"There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry," said Dumbledore's voice. "On the contrary... the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."
Harry felt the white-hot anger lick his insides, blazing in the terrible emptiness, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore for his calmness and his empty words.
"My greatest strength, is it?" said Harry, his voice shaking as he stared out at the Quidditch stadium, no longer seeing it. "You haven't got a clue... You don't know..."
"What don't I know?" asked Dumbledore calmly.
It was too much. Harry turned around, shaking with rage.
"I don't want to talk about how I feel, all right?"
"Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human--"
"THEN--I--DON'T--WANT--TO--BE--HUMAN!" Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, "Really!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE--"
He seized the table on which the silver instrument had stood and threw that too. It broke apart on the floor and the legs rolled in different directions.
"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
......................................................
These two scenes illustrate very different emotions. Characters in both scenes do a lot of yelling, but the timing of the dialogue is the key to the emotions in each scene. In the Prisoner of Azkaban scene, the urgency of the scene is conveyed by quick back-and-forth dialogue. If you remember the same scene in the movie, there are a lot of actions that the characters take (i.e. looking to and from one another; Hermione steps in front of Harry to shield him from Sirius and Lupin; Lupin reaches out to implore Hermione to listen). None of those actions are portrayed in the dialogue, because to add them, while giving you a physically more accurate description, would take away from the momentum of the scene. The readers can just as easily imagine the action as they read the dialogue.
In the second scene, from the Order of the Phoenix, the dialogue progresses much more slowly. The emotion in this scene does not come from a rapid-fire exchange (although Harry does do a fair bit of shouting), but from Dumbledore's slow and calculated responses. The deep feelings of regret and care for Harry that Dumbledore expresses come to light through his patience in allowing Harry the space to explore his own emotions. The pace of the dialogue allows much more room for beats of character action (all taken by Harry, a detail that is also telling...). But more than that, each beat has a purpose, shows the emotion rather than telling it (more often than not).
As a writer, understanding what your characters are going through and how they would respond to one another in a scene can mean the difference between capturing the readers' hearts and getting lost in the details. The right beats in the right places give meaning to the words spoken and emotions felt by your characters, allowing the reader to peek through the windows in their souls.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Homophones
Here is a useful list of words that editors and writers need to know. This list comes directly from The Copyeditor's Handbook, the textbook for the copyediting certificate program I'm enrolled in on-line. (It makes me self-conscious, so many rules! But hopefully it will make me a better writer and editor).
Commonly confused homophones. (def: homophones are words that are pronounced identically or quite similarly but that are spelled differently. e.g. to, two, too; there, their; etc.)
accept - except
adverse - averse
affect - effect
allusive - elusive - illusive
ascent - assent
baited - bated
bazaar - bizarre
canvas - canvass
capital - capitol
censure - censor - sensor
complement - compliment
disc - disk
discreet - discrete
eminent - immanent - imminent
ensure - insure
gorilla - guerrilla
grisly - grizzly
hoard - horde
incidence - incidents
mantle - mantel
palate - palette - pallet
rack - wrack
review - revue
troop - troupe
undo - undue
The differences between the definitions of these words are often as subtle as the difference in spelling or sound. Sometimes, though, the meanings are wildly different, and getting them mixed up can cause a lot of confusion!
What other homophones do you know? Take a few minutes and look up and learn the definitions of each of these words... the more you know, the better you'll be at your craft!
Commonly confused homophones. (def: homophones are words that are pronounced identically or quite similarly but that are spelled differently. e.g. to, two, too; there, their; etc.)
accept - except
adverse - averse
affect - effect
allusive - elusive - illusive
ascent - assent
baited - bated
bazaar - bizarre
canvas - canvass
capital - capitol
censure - censor - sensor
complement - compliment
disc - disk
discreet - discrete
eminent - immanent - imminent
ensure - insure
gorilla - guerrilla
grisly - grizzly
hoard - horde
incidence - incidents
mantle - mantel
palate - palette - pallet
rack - wrack
review - revue
troop - troupe
undo - undue
The differences between the definitions of these words are often as subtle as the difference in spelling or sound. Sometimes, though, the meanings are wildly different, and getting them mixed up can cause a lot of confusion!
What other homophones do you know? Take a few minutes and look up and learn the definitions of each of these words... the more you know, the better you'll be at your craft!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
What Are You Waiting For? Blogfest!!!
**Does a little happy dance** Yay for blogfest day and yay for people participating! I can't wait to read your entries!
If you still want to join, it's not too late!
Here's the idea: I really love flash fiction, so in 300 words or less, tell me about a character you are writing (or make one up) who faces a choice... and have him/her flip a coin to make a decision.
Post your entry on your blog TODAY!!! Wednesday 9/26 and leave a message in the comments so that I don't overlook you and so that the others can see what you've done!
Also, If you don't already know, I'm starting an editing business called Writing Refinery (website coming soon). Two lucky entrants will receive a free critique of the first 30 pages of your manuscript! So write craftily, grasshoppers!
If you still want to join, it's not too late!
Here's the idea: I really love flash fiction, so in 300 words or less, tell me about a character you are writing (or make one up) who faces a choice... and have him/her flip a coin to make a decision.
Post your entry on your blog TODAY!!! Wednesday 9/26 and leave a message in the comments so that I don't overlook you and so that the others can see what you've done!
Also, If you don't already know, I'm starting an editing business called Writing Refinery (website coming soon). Two lucky entrants will receive a free critique of the first 30 pages of your manuscript! So write craftily, grasshoppers!
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