11 questions and a bit of a YA request

First! Hi to all my new followers! It's so nice to have more people out there joining the conversation about life, the universe and everything... but mostly about writing :)

I was tagged by my new pal Hildred (great name by the way) to play along in this 11 questions meme. Thanks to Hildred for the creative questions! I hope you like my answers.

1. What is the single most annoying trope that makes you want to claw your eyes out? Ah... for me it's the "I'm helpless and my life means nothing without HIM..." I love a good strong female character, so to read so many roles that fit the trope makes me sick.

2. If you could alter history and claim credit for any book ever written, what would it be? Right now I'd say "Hunger Games"... Suzanne Collins wrote a great trilogy... and I wish it was mine :)

3. How many kids were in your HS graduating class? 500 kids in my graduating class, or thereabouts. 1996. Yep

4. If you were guaranteed massive success either way, would you rather traditionally publish or self-publish? I think... all things being equal...  I'd have to say I'd self-publish... because I wouldn't want to rely on anyone else for my success. I'd want to be strong, like one of my characters, and in charge of my own fate.

5. What's the most you've ever paid for an article of clothing...for yourself? Do shoes count? I bought a pair of Danskos for $120... because they have awesome arch support and will last a long time.

6. Singer, Model, or Actress - who you gonna be? I was, am, and will always be a singer.

7. Chef, Driver, or Maid - who you gonna hire? I'd hire a maid. I hate to clean.

8. Bath or shower? I'm a shower girl.... I get bored in baths.

9. You're scheduling for a delivery to your house during normal business hours. What time do you request, and why? Early as possible. Whatever I'm having delivered must be good. I'm sure I'll want it as soon as possible.

10. Could you survive a whole year or more in a traditional Japanese apartment? Sure I could survive. It would be cramped and I'd complain a LOT, probably... but I'd be in Japan, right? So I'd have a lot to distract me.

11. Favorite Pokemon. And you can't cop out with "i dunno pokemon"  because here's a link, pick the cutest one! I'm still going to cop out on this one and choose Pikachu... he's the only Pokemon I really know, but I like him.

Now... I'm not ACTUALLY going to tag anyone... why? Because I don't want to :) I WILL give you a list of 11 questions, though... at the very end of the post... and if you'd like to answer them, feel free to do so in the comments. I'd love to hear your answers!

The second part of my post today has to do with YATT (also know as Young Adult Teen Tuesday, a meme hosted by SA Larsen over at Writer's Ally)

And what I have for you today in the realm of Young Adult and Teen fiction is a request. My current WIP needs some character help... and I've decided I want YOU to help me figure out what I need to help my character out! I would love love love to have her answer 50 questions, any 50 questions you'd ask a 15 year old girl... and I'd like you to help me ask them. In the comments section, please leave me (along with your answers to MY 11 questions) 1, 2, or 10 questions you'd like to hear my character answer... that would be so amazingly fantastic! I'll collect all the questions submitted by midnight on Friday, February 17th, and post her responses NEXT Tuesday. I hope you'll play along!

Ok, now for the 11 questions I'd like to know about YOU.

1. What's your favorite animal and why? (If you don't like ANY animals, why?)
2. If you had an unlimited budget, where would your next vacation spot be?
3. Say you have an old, blind cat that lives in your attic... what's its name?
4. Do you like fruitcake? Why or why not?
5. What do you do to cure writer's block?
6. You're a super hero. What's your outfit look like?
7. Building on #6, what's your super power?
8. Doctor Who?
9. What's your favorite snack?
10. What book can you remember reading in your youth that had a major effect on you?
11. It's the zombie invasion and you're barricaded in a house with 4 other people. If you could choose those 4 people, who would they be?

I'm looking forward to your answers AND... your questions!!!

First drafts

I wanted to talk about first drafts today... because that's where I am... in my novel and in my life, I think. I wrote my second novel (gee that sounds weird) during NaNoWriMo last November. It's a great idea, for sure, and I think that at times I can be a great writer... but man this draft! I've been trying to get up the courage to edit/re-write the pile of jumbled up copy I produced in November... ever since I finished it, actually. I think I've finally gotten into a groove (this past Friday, actually) where I'm not afraid to look at it... but it's a MESS!

Anyone else feel this way?

So what I keep hearing from other writer friends is that first drafts are always a mess. That should make me feel better... really... it should.

Anyone else feel this way?

Author Annie Prouxl (Brokeback Mountain) says of drafts that "for a story like “Tits-Up in a Ditch” it was probably fifteen or sixteen drafts, with some paragraphs going through sixty drafts before they got right. Even then, when the story is apparently finished I see changes that must be made." Huh. Sixty drafts on some paragraphs. Boy wouldn't I like to see what the first draft looked like.

Anyone else?

I guess what it comes down to is that I am a closet perfectionist. So I'm utterly embarrassed every time I look at the mess that is my first draft, and HORRIFIED at the thought of showing it to someone else. I am worse than ashamed to think that my writing could start out looking as bad as I think that it does... and so then I lose the willpower to follow through and finish it.

Anybody... Bueller...?

I have been working on that feeling that everything I produce should be perfect right out of the box. Because.... damn it, it was a good idea! It still is a good idea! And yes, it needs work... and no, I'm not a prodigy... but that doesn't mean I can't get there given a little elbow grease. And it can be fun! And my self-worth is NOT based on first drafts. And Yours isn't either! Whew. There... I feel better now...

Anyone else?

Why YA?

It's Tuesday again... time to talk about Young Adult and Teen lit!

Why am I writing a YA novel? That's a question people ask me frequently... after "Oh, you're a writer" comes "What kind of book are you writing?" and then... "why Young Adult?"

And my answer is because there's so much more room for imagination!

I think my WIP is teetering between middle grade and YA... although mostly that's because the age of the protagonist keeps changing. I can't decide how old she should be, really... originally she was 7 or 8 and now she is 16. I felt like some of the situations she found herself in were a little too overwhelming for an 8 year-old.

Now, I know that YA can be serious and can deal with some serious issues, too. And I love, love, love that about the demographic. Teens deal with some heavy stuff. They also need YA to open their eyes to people living lives that are distinctly different from their own. I remember reading "Dicey's Song" by Cynthia Voigt when I was a kid... and loving Dicey so much... and feeling like the life she lived was so completely foreign to me.

But the ability to put my characters into a world of magic and folklore come to life is largely restricted to the MG/YA demographic. Yes there's sci-fi/fantasy for adults... but it's all so ... ADULT... and I don't know... I just feel like YA has more fun. Am I wrong?

Every author dreams of writing the next great American novel... of winning the Pulitzer or some other prestigious award... those are good things to dream of, for sure. But realistically... I just want to have fun with my characters, to enjoy their growth and progression through the story. So I guess I'll have to put off the Pulitzer Prize winning work for the NEXT NaNoWriMo. Ha!

What about YOU? Why do you write for YA/Teens/Middle Grade? Why do you choose fantasy for your WIP? I'm curious!!!

Busy busy busy

It's always a good idea to participate on the web... I've been a tentative voice from the beginning... saying things here on my blog where I only have a few followers... and shyly commenting, although I'm getting bolder. Well, I decided I want to expand my reach... I want to join more actively in the conversation of the writers' world in the blog-iverse. So I'm joining in the Rach Writes Writers' Platform-building Campaign. I mean, why not, right? If anything, hopefully I will meet some new people in the on-line world of writers. And that's my goal for the campaign... because... aside from that I'm not REALLY sure what it is... I am just jumping in and trying it!

Whee!

In other news... it's February... but this February could not be more different from the last. Last year, we had SO MUCH SNOW!!! It was everywhere... piled up... packed in... and it was sooooo ccccoooollllddddd! This year we've had so many 50 degree days that even the swans got confused, thought it was spring, and came back to the pond.

The water in front of the swan is actually ice!

One thing I have accomplished this winter that I'm proud of is this quilt. I am excited to have finished it and that it didn't fall apart when I washed it!

Now if I could just have the same experience with my WIP, I'd be golden. Hopefully I'll meet some new people through this campaign who will help me find the courage I need to get it done.

Insecure Writers Support Group

I know, I know... 3 posts in 3 days from me... it's almost too much to handle! It's the first Wednesday in the month and I'm joining in on Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group. If you're a writer and you have insecurities you would like to share, you should join us... and if you're a writer and you haven't got any insecurities, would you PLEASE share how you came to be so self-confident?

I guess my insecurity for this week has to do with copy, or frequent lack thereof. I find myself more often than not staring at a blank screen and not able to think of anything to say. Or worse, I don't even turn on the computer because I feel like nothing I could think of (if I COULD think of anything) would be interesting or worth putting down in print. And then I hear that oft repeated adage "A writer writes..." and I think to myself, well... I'm not writing, so I must not be a writer. And downward I spiral into a pit of deep despair.

So I guess that leads me to the problem of well meaning but ill timed/placed ... encouragement... for lack of a better word. As an insecure writer who has struggled with identity and where I fit in all this wide and varied world of blog posts, novels, novellas, poetry, short stories, news articles, etc., etc., etc., I can tell you that even "A writer writes..." can kill a budding creative spirit. Well... maybe not kill it, but definitely set it back.

The thing I keep coming back to is that she's different for everyone, the muse. For some lucky souls she is a slave driver, an unforgiving mistress that forces you to stay up late pouring words from your fingertips to the page. That's not who she is for me... for me, she's coy and fleeting, stifled by a wide variety of worries that need to be quelled and frightened of monster doubts that need to be re-captured and caged.

One way that I am finding help in these past few weeks is through this awesome network of writers on the web. Between IWSG, YA and Teen Tuesday, and Knights of Microfiction, there are some really great ways for me to stretch out my figurative vocal chords, get the words flowing, and encourage the muse to come out and play. And I keep working on my doubts and monsters... and keep my WIP open in the background to remind me that there is more to be done.

Maurice Sendak is AWESOME!!!

So, my YA post for the week is a cheat, really... it's more about children's literature... and actually, I'm going to let Maurice Sendak and Steven Colbert say it. (Maurice Sendak, by the way... is AWESOME!!!)

Best line of this interview "I don't write for children... I write... and somebody says 'That's for children'"

I think that kind of writing produces the best books. It's one thing to market and hit a target demographic... but in the end you just gotta write your story.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Grim Colberty Tales with Maurice Sendak Pt. 1
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Grim Colberty Tales with Maurice Sendak Pt. 2
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Knights of MicroFiction

I thought I'd participate in this new monthly blog hop of Write. Skate. Dream.'s and Imagine Today's. It's a chance to do a little flash fiction writing and oil the gears of my imagination a little. Play along if you will :)

Write a Flash Fiction (MicroFiction) piece in 250 words or less about someone who's done something wrong but doesn't have the guts to apologize. Whether they end up apologizing or not is up to you.

Here's my entry:

Stupid, stupid, stupid… my face was burning. How could I be so stupid? I looked at the smoldering, melted mess that used to be my sister’s yoga mat. The smell of incense and burning plastic seared the back of my throat. And there’s the smoke alarm. Fantastic.

I hurried around the apartment opening windows and waving frantically at the smoke detector. Fandango, Aya’s preening Pomeranian, danced yapping about my feet, his wagging tail and sparkling eyes mocking me. At least he couldn’t talk… he couldn’t tell Aya what I’d done. “You just better keep your tiny little dog lips sealed, got it?” I threatened. Great. I’m threatening a Pomeranian. I sighed.

I gathered up the molten mess of mat and stuffed it into a trash bag from under the kitchen sink. I took one last look around the apartment, sniffing the air to make sure the burning smell was completely gone. Eh. Could be worse, I suppose. I’d better hurry up and get out of here before she comes home and catches me. Oh wait, the dog!

“Damn it Fandango, get back in your crate, you little monster!” I chased the gleeful pup around the kitchen island for the fifth time. “Gotcha!” Fandango screeched as I dived and grabbed him by the middle and shoved him in his crate. “Remember, I was never here!”

Remember when...

Ok, I admit two things. One, I'm 34, and so using the phrase "Remember when..." sort of rings a little hollow. I've done a lot of looking back recently, and talking about former times. I still feel too young to be waxing nostalgic.

Second admission... Just now when I typed the title "Remember when..." for this post the song "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John popped into my head and it's stuck there. Please tell me you know the song... No? Yes? Well, for better or worse, here it is:

And piggy-backing on that second admission, here's a third... I LOVE THAT SONG :) It makes me get all wiggly and smile a lot. Ha!

Ok, back to the point... I'm borrowing from the lovely and talented Margo Berendsen, who last week wrote about teenage love. I partook in a lively discussion about whether it was appropriate to portray teenage love that seems like it will last forever, that has such intense "I'd-die-for-you" qualities as a lot of the books out there right now do (i.e. Twilight, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, come on you name 'em). There was some argument that the kind of love in those books wasn't "realistic" enough.

To which I laugh... firstly because realism is hardly what I look for or expect when I pick up a Young Adult novel. But the question, I guess, pertains to my expectation as well. Should I expect the love stories contained in Young Adult fiction to be more 'realistic'?

My argument in the whole thing was that, apart from the "happily ever after" bit, the way love is portrayed in a book like Twilight (even Romeo and Juliet) is completely realistic in an overly dramatic, "I'd rather die than live without you" kind of way. I know, I know... it sounds like a paradox. How can you be realistic and overly dramatic at the same time? Try being a teenager.

It was a while ago for me, but not so long that I haven't forgotten how it felt to be in love as a teenager. Of course, the love I felt was hardly requited (ah the life of the awkward youth)... but that even added an edge of proving just how deeply smitten I was in the hopes that my love would be recognized as THE love. Still not relating? Really, you must have the emotions of an automaton then.

So in my auto-biographical example, "he" wasn't the most popular kid in school, although he was well liked by many people. I thought he was the most handsome boy minus one... he had the most beautiful singing voice... and he was prone to his own fits of melodrama that made him desperately tragic. Plus, he was one of my best friends (read that as, he was way too nice to tell me I was a loser)... and I spent a lot of time hanging out with him. Not that he would ever read this blog, but if any of you knew me in high school you know who he is, too.

It's not like I kept my feelings a secret. My heart was LITERALLY on my sleeve... well, ok, not Literally... but you get the idea. If you had asked me to, I would have jumped (off of what?) for him, I'm fairly certain. No he never returned my feelings... but that just meant I needed to prove how desolate my life was without him!

So, now... all these years later... I'm so over that phase of my life... I moved to California and now to the East Coast again... I met a wonderful, amazing man whom I have been married to for 9 years... and I know that love is more than the wibbly-wobbly feelings in my stomach... that it's so much richer when it's requited (ha... a given, that...)... and that it takes effort, tenacity, open-mindedness, vulnerability... that the flash in the pan is not the staying power of a lasting marriage. That doesn't invalidate the experience I had when I was young, though.

And THAT is why those books are so popular... it's because we all recognize the echo of our own teenage loves that we wish had lasted for an eternity in the story of Bella and Edward. I am in NO WAY defending Twilight as a good book... as I said on Margo's blog, Bella's character makes me want to choke on my own bile. But that's partly because I have grown up, grown out of that stage of helpless mush. But the echo, the resonance with our past, that's what gives these stories their popularity... it's precisely because they ARE realistic... realistically unrealistic.

Thoughts? There's an underlying question here of whether you think literature should exist to edify or entertain... should books portray more "realistic" love for teens to learn what that looks like? Hmmm... I'd love to hear what people have to say about this.

This post fits with the meme Young Adult Teen Tuesday started by Shari Larsen over at Writers Ally in that it is almost Tuesday and the post is about teens in love and grew out of Margo's post along the same meme from last week. So I guess I'll "join" in the conversation.

Ah Monday...

Good morning Monday. I mean, good late morning... I have been up since before the sun today... attempting the creative life... struggling to stay awake while scribbling morning pages out into the universe... reading my creative inspirational readings... and visiting the Subaru dealership to get the car serviced. Ah Monday. You sure do know how to mix together aspects of life that I wouldn't ordinarily let associate. What better way to spend an hour and a half, though? If I had to wait for the car, at least I wasn't wasting my time... not really. Ok, maybe a little. They have a TV there! (we don't have TV at home) So naturally I was a little distracted by Matt Lauer and crew... and all those commercials!

I have never been more thankful that we don't have TV (we do have A tv, but not TV, get it?) than I am at this current stage in my life. I am so easily distracted by the computer, much less the ever babbling world of modern media. If I had a conduit to that flow, I would slip into a stupor of inaction that I know I would never recover from. Sometimes I miss not knowing the pop-culture answers at pub trivia (we woulda won the other week if we only watched TV). But on the whole, I feel less anxiety... I can breathe more, better, find time to do things... or at least have one less major excuse for not doing things that I want to do.

I'm working on myself recently. Working on figuring out what my hangups are with just getting my creative projects done. It's not as if I don't have time. But something keeps holding me back from allowing myself to play and in the process be successful and creative. I think I'm getting closer to the source. The monsters have been rumbling more and I haven't been able to sleep very well. Weird dreams about werewolves and Neil Gaiman and Harry Potter...

So I have to check in with myself and ... just ... breathe ...

How do you tap into the flow of your creativity? Any hangups you would like to share?

This beautiful owl lives at the nature center
a friend of mine runs in NJ.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

I've been lurking around others' sites long enough looking at this monthly blog group. It's time to self-identify. I am an insecure writer. There's no two ways around that. So, the idea of this support group is to post once a month with this tag and talk about my insecurities (and hopefully about victories over my insecurities)... and then go around to other writers' blogs and comment/show support for them. I can get behind that. Especially because one of my main insecurities is that no one is actually listening to (reading) me. Oh, but thank you SO much to my good friends who consistently comment, even if it's just to say hello.

Isn't that just every writer's fear, somewhere deep inside? That no matter how targeted, how sculpted, how well written your work, no one will connect with it. You'll meet with the sound of crickets... if you're lucky... instead of the sound of interaction. Because... even negative interaction is something... even if people disagree with you, at least you know that they heard you...

Sigh... so that's my insecure writer's post, my first one. Now I'm off to say hi to some other writers out there, to comment, to play, to interact.

Books I read last year and reading goals for this year

• The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
• Anthropology of an American Girl - Hilary Thayer Hamann
• Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
• Bottlenose Dolphins: Biology and Conservation - Reynolds, Wells, Eide
• The Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum
• Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass - Lewis Carroll
• A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
• Interview with the Vampire - Anne Rice
• Anansi's Boys - Neil Gaiman
• Not in Kansas Anymore: A curious tale of how magic is transforming America - Christine Wicker
• The Crystal Cave - Mary Stewart
• The Hollow Hills - Mary Stewart
• The Tiger in the Well - Phillip Pullman
• Smoke and Mirrors - Neil Gaiman
• The Book of Dead Days - Marcus Sedgewick
• Wicked - Gregory Maguire
• Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
• Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins
• Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling
• Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - J.K. Rowling
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J.K. Rowling
• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K. Rowling
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowling
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling
• The Forest of Hands and Teeth - Carrie Ryan
• The Dead-Tossed Waves - Carrie Ryan
• The Dark and Hollow Places - Carrie Ryan
• Going Bovine - Libba Bray
• Melting Stones - Tamora Pierce
• The Will of the Empress - Tamora Pierce
• The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck
• The Game of Thrones - George R. R. Martin
• A Clash of Kings - George R.R. Martin
• A Storm of Swords - George R.R. Martin
• A Feast for Crows - George R.R. Martin
• Mountain Spirit: The Sheepeater Indians of Yellowstone - Lawrence L. Loendorf & Nancy Medaris Stone
• Watership Down - Richard Adams
• Wildwood - Colin Meloy
• Feng Shui Step By Step by T. Raphael Simons
• Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynn Jones

I read a lot last year. I have so much more to read, too. This year I'm hoping to read a lot more new books... I have stacks at home and goals... one of them is to read more non-fiction. I have a couple books by feminist authors on tap, a book about the history of Kauai, a book about the politics of the conservation of wolves, and a couple of liberal political books (George Carlin and Michael Moore) that I'm hoping to get through. I also want to read Atlas Shrugged... and Ulysses. We'll see if I can manage those...  I'm planning to keep a running list again, at home on my kitchen cabinet and here on the blog for others to see :)

Resolutions

Hmmm... aren't resolutions just wonderful? They're the pinnacle of the race, the epitome of potential, and it's all down-hill from here. The New Year is fast approaching, and I'm pondering resolutions and why we make them... or why we love to break them. Because most resolutions will never be kept. It's part of our human nature, I guess. We love to dream big, to have hope for a bright future full of all the things we wish we could do with our lives, and we love to believe we will accomplish all our goals! And let's face it... if you make a list of resolutions this New Year's Eve and you manage to keep all of them, did you really dream big enough?

Here's the thing, somehow, this past year, I did manage to keep all my resolutions. Ha! I only made three... and there's something satisfying and yet so small about that. While I know I learned something and grew from the process, I can't help but wonder what else I could have done if I had just decided that I wanted to reach for a higher goal?

This year I want to dream big and fail big. It's no fun, really, failing... but the journey counts more than the destination, right? So I'm going to make some wacky big resolutions and then take the leap! Won't you join me?

Anime and writing

I seriously cannot
get enough Who!

I've been considering story structure and character development for the past few weeks now... partially in a poorly disguised attempt to avoid editing my NaNovel. Sigh... anyhow, I am currently reading "The Plot Whisperer" by Martha Alderson... the book that Awesome Bess gave me for "winning" a blog contest that she hosted. It's a great book! I love Alderson's thoughts on the Universal Story, and on character development being personal as well as fictional... the character on the page can and will reveal a lot about your own strengths and weaknesses. Reading about that, though, I realize that I have a lot of work to do to get this story to a happy place. But the Plot Whisperer is helping me to be less afraid of the work that needs to be done, so I guess that's something.

Belle  and Sebastian (circa 1981)

In a slightly related way, I've been considering the plot and characters in the anime series "Princess Tutu". I stumbled upon this little gem when I started working on my quilt the other week. I needed something to distract me from the drone of the sewing machine, so first I watched Season 2 of Doctor Who (just after the Doctor regenerates from Christopher Eccleston to David Tennant... Oh man I love Doctor Who!)... and then, just as I was getting ready to begin Season 3, Princess Tutu caught my eye. I've always loved anime, everything I've seen, at least. That's not much, when you think about it... but Belle and Sebastian is what started it all. I recently watched (and read) Howl's Moving Castle, as well, and really enjoyed that fanciful story.

Princess Tutu

Princess Tutu is whimsical, rollicking, a bit overly-dramatic (but hey, it's anime) and has the added benefit (for me) of an exterior narrator or two and plot sketches between episodes. I liked the structure and the themes, mostly... I was a little at a loss as to why some of the whimsy existed... I mean, I know, by nature whimsy is not supposed to have a reason, but... this was a little overboard... but, nevertheless, I could not stop watching! It was captivating (again, for me... Noah thought I was crazy). The ending kind of threw me a little, so if any of you out there have seen it and can offer me some insight, I would be grateful!

Howl's Moving Castle

Still, it gave me lots to think about with regard to my characters and their growth into full fledged characters... ones that people will connect with and root for... or despise... I want my characters to incite emotion, but right now I think that they are dull, lifeless... I have a rewrite to do... and I have to stop putting it off!

My mother will be here for a few days starting Friday... but the new goal is to, as soon as she leaves, really dive into the process of transforming the copy that I have into the story that I want to tell.

Stuck

Well, stuck can be a good thing, too, I guess. I finished my NaNo goals and then took a good long break... but now I'm afraid to get back to working on the project. I know I need to, I know I can do it...

but I had found something else to distract me. A quilt. I am in the process of making my first quilt! It's really cool... I'm using a pattern and have been sewing madly for days now. It's been fun and I'm coming up with ideas for new quilt patterns... and I'm hoping that my mom will help me finish this quilt off when she comes to visit next week for Christmas.

But then my sewing machine stopped working today. It's stuck. I've taken off the cover and oiled as many parts as I can reach, and it's still stuck... I'm 4 strips away from being finished with the quilt! Sigh. Hopefully Noah can help me when he gets home, but I was really hoping to wrap that up today!

The thing is, having a stuck sewing machine may force me to get down to editing. I need that push back towards my novel, so that I can refine it... make it into something worth showing to someone else.

50,000 words does not a novel make

So, it's December 5th... I haven't posted in over a week. To be honest, I think I just needed a break from forcing words out of my fingertips and into being. And so I took it. I wish I could tell you that during the last week I read more books and began creative projects... but really I spent most of my time staring out into cyberspace, trying to make sense of the whole last month by reading what others are saying about their experience of NaNoWriMo.

And so now I'm here, a few days into December... and what do I have to show for it? I have more than 200 pages of text and a strong idea... but it's not a manuscript yet. I know what needs to come next. I know I need to sit down with Scrivener and put these scenes into some kind of logical order... and then I know I need to go through the draft with a discerning eye, re-writing portions, cutting portions, adding transitions and/or filler...

I think I'm just still in shock that I actually got this far with it. Ha. That the baby idea I had... years... ago now has become something much bigger than I expected.

Truth is I love the editing process. I just need to gather my wits about me and dive in! And so that's what this next month will be about. I have many fun things to do on the weekends and my mother is coming up for the holiday at the end of the month, but in between then I promise you that I'm going to knuckle down and make something out of this jumbled heap of ideas. As Erin Morgenstern, NaNo participant and author of The Night Circus put it "There's a spinning-straw-into-gold analogy here, in which NaNoWriMo is about filling the room with straw. The spinning would be revising. Had I more time to compose this, I would work that analogy in better, but the I think clumsiness illustrates my point." (from The Marvels and Messes of a Month of Writing).

I'm off to yoga now for some wit gathering... and then I'll be here... spinning my straw into gold.

NaNo day 25... I DID IT!

As you can see by the badge posted to the right and by the certificate in this post, I successfully completed the 50,000 word challenge for NaNo today! Yay me! Now comes the hard part, though... I need to finish this thing up and get it edited. Eek! I'm pretty excited :). It's something to be proud of, and a creative story line. I hope to be able to share it with you soon!

Now I'm going to go relax for a bit and decorate my house for the holidays.

Yay!

NaNo Day #24... Happy Thanksgiving everyone :)

It's Thanksgiving Day, 24 November. I'm sitting pretty at 46,726 words on my novel. Yep folks. Today's benchmark is 40,000 and I'm well ahead. I have 3,274 words left to write to reach the 50,000 word mark and "win" NaNo. That doesn't mean too much in the grand scheme of things... and yet, it DOES because I have a novel written! Or I will have in just a couple more days... I mean, even 50,000 words does not make a novel... I will likely write more and cut more and edit plenty before it's in any sort of drafty stage to send to a publishing agency... but that's the goal... after reaching 50,000... dress it up and send it out to party :)

I'm pretty excited. At one point I wasn't even sure I could stretch it this far. Yay!

I've really enjoyed this process. I think I have found my stride, which is a good thing to feel. I discovered "Write or Die" which will help me with writing daily in the future (manageable bites are key). I've also learned the need for balance. I've spent the last month jamming on the creativity frequency. I need to have input, too, though... as well as output. I'm looking forward to getting back to reading more regularly and not feeling this crazed pressure for a while. At least until I come up with another grand idea... or until next year's NaNo :)

So... in other news, I volunteer at Blackbird Yoga now, down the street from my house. It's a nice way to get out a couple times a week and I get free yoga for helping out over there. Pretty cool! I try to walk there at least once a week (and drive the other day I go)... mostly for the getting outside. Our street is not the safest to walk down. People like to go careening down the hill and slam into the speed bump in front of our house (that includes snow plows in the middle of the night... right outside my bedroom window... good times...). I don't let Tag in our yard without his 30 foot lead on for that reason. I can't bear the thought of him getting hit. That said, I don't see to many animals (other than squirrels and chipmunks) that get hit on our road. And we have plenty of critters... heron, beaver, muskrat, deer, raccoon, and then I found this guy on the side of the road, a clear hit and run... who knew we had bobcats too? Sad that I had to discover it this way...

NaNo day 21 - Moving along

It's day 21. I made excellent headway at the end of last week and wrote the usual quota of words on Saturday, too, so only writing 600 yesterday didn't really hurt me. I didn't get ahead that much, though, by only writing 600 words. So today's goal is to write to 40,000 words (a little over a 2,500 word count for the day). It's completely do-able since I wrote 5,000 the other day... in 2 and a half hours... This new app is fantastic for making my writing time manageable and productive. I love it.

This image is taken from

 http://a-faerietale-of-inspiration.blogspot.com/

In other news, the recent events at UC Davis have shocked and saddened me more than I can say. Especially when you expect that the police should be there to protect people and uphold their rights... which I do. Maybe everyone does not expect that. I know there is a lot of contention surrounding the purpose of the protesting going on across the country at this time... nevertheless, people have the right to make their thoughts and concerns known through peaceful assembly... and this kind of display of force in direct opposition to those rights chills me.

I never really considered my position of non-violence until now. I think I always assumed that I knew my own mind. And I have a hard time wrapping my brain around exactly how my ideals, my beliefs would work in an ideal world, especially given that this world is less than ideal... but I'm going to put it out there... to wish... to imagine what my world would be like... so bear with me, and converse with me. I hope you will...

In my perfect world, the police would use force only when absolutely necessary... because their lives or the lives of others are in imminent danger.

In my perfect world, people would have safe, open forums to talk about their wants and needs, their hopes and dreams, and to find support and fulfillment from others who have and are willing to share.

In my perfect world, disagreeing with someone would not be a cause for hate or war or violence, but a time for learning, if nothing else, how to respect a different viewpoint and allow that person to be and believe differently from you.

In my perfect world...

There are so many other ways to end that thought that I think I'm going to have to start a series, just to tease this idea out, to dream

I hope that you will play along with me. What do things look like in YOUR perfect world?
I reserve the right to delete any comments that are combative or out of sync with the spirit of this "perfect world".

NaNo day 18... 35,000 by the end of the day **UPDATED**

I'm gonna get there :) Ambitious goal for the day, but I'm already over 31,000, so I think I can do it.

In the meantime, listen to this song... theme song for the novel... (lyrics below)

**UPDATED** just in case you wondered... I hit 35,095 today... and created a new character. She adds so much depth to the story! And she's just a minor thing...

Swim Until You Can't See Land - by Frightened Rabbit

We salute at the threshold of the North Sea

in my mind

And a nod to the boredom that drove me here

to face the tide and swim

(Whoaaaa) I swim (Whoaaa) oh swim (Whoaaa)

Dip the toe in the ocean. Oh how it hardens and it numbs.

And the rest of me is a version of man

built to collapse into crumbs

And if I hadn’t come down

To the coast to disappear

I may have died in a land-slide

Of the rocks, the hopes and fears.

So swim until you can’t see land.

Swim until you can’t see land.

Swim until you can’t see land

Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Up to my knees now, do I wait? Do I dive?

The sea has seen my like before though it’s my first

And perhaps last time.

Let’s call me a baptist, call this the drowning of the past

She’s there on the shoreline

Throwing stones at my back

So swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Now the water’s taller than me

And the land is a marker line

All I am is a body adrift in water, salt and sky

So swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Swim until you can’t see land

Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

It's the 16th and I'm at 28,389 words written

I just found this fantastic app on-line called Write or Die by Dr. Wicked. It is a customizable app that lets you pick a word count, a time limit, and consequences for missing your goals and then encourages you to type like the wind and meet those goals. I wrote 4500 words today! First in 500 words in 15 minute chunks, and then 800 words in 20 minutes... I surpassed even my own expectations and now I'm a day ahead of the word count. The scenes are all out of sync and there are still large holes in the plot, but everything fits together pretty well and, thanks to another fun piece of software called Scrivener (please refrain from the Melville references here), rearranging scenes and getting things to flow more naturally will be much easier when editing time comes.

I'm super excited and hoping to get even MORE ahead tomorrow.

How are the rest of you doing?

picture from http://forestofthefaie.ning.com/group/selkies